And Tigers Come At Night

Yunnan Stone Forest - The Tiger

'Lord what do I look for? My hope is in You' Psalm 39:7

In late Oct 2009, when visiting the Stone Forest in Kunming, Yunnan, we chanced upon a rock formation that took the shape of a tiger. Immediately the song 'I dreamed a Dream' came to mind, with its haunting line 'but the tigers come at night'. The song is a lament; the dreams of youth, once ever so promising, turned to ashes with the passing of time and with it, the dawning of hopelessness.

The song was sung by Fantine in the musical 'Les Miserables'. She had a love affair with a student, Tholomyes but he deserted her, leaving behind an illegitimate child. She became a prostitute, a destitute so poor that she had to sell her hair and teeth to clothe and feed her bastard child. Her once growing love became a bitter disappointment.

Fantine was emblematic of the plight of women, their sufferings, social wretchedness and hopelessness during the days of their exploitation in 18th and 19th centuries. 

There was a time when men were kind

When their voices were soft

And their words inviting

There was a time when love was blind

And the world was a song

And the song was exciting

There was a time

Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in times gone by

When hope was high and life worth living

I dreamed, that love would never die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid

And dreams were made and used and wasted

There was no ransom to be paid

No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night

With their voices soft as thunder

As they tear your hope apart

As they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side

He filled my days with endless wonder

He took my childhood in his stride

But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me

That we will live the years together

But there are dreams that cannot be

And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living

So different now from what it seemed

Now life has killed the dream

I dreamed

In the Covid-stricken circumstances of 2019-present, many of us must feel that the tigers have come at night and shattered our dreams. It is not only the patients that are the victims. Many have dreams in life yet to be realised. Others are happy with life having achieved their dreams. Unexpectedly, the pandemic hit and disrupted everything.

  

It is not easy to face the ‘tigers’ and one should not wish for them to come a-haunting. If they do come, beware; despair can really break a person. Will we lose hope? Will we lose faith? 

St. Francis of Assisi once prayed, where there is despair let us sow hope. The Psalmist in Psalms 42 and 43 searched for answers and questioned the soul within, not once but three times. The answer is to put our hopes in God.

'As the deer pants for the water,

so my soul pants for you, O God.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,

By day the LORD directs his love,

at night his song is with me.

How can we hope at such hopeless times? Christianity answers with the call to rely on God. When everything seems to be falling apart, we can

 

Rely on God's presence

Rely on God's provision

Rely on God's promises

Although the shattering of dreams can be devastating, take comfort in the words of Jesus in John 16:33  

'I have told you these things, so that in Me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.' John 16:33

Finally, 

'Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer' Romans 12:12

Lionel

1st Published 3 Feb 2010

Body Still, Mind Silent, Spirit Soars

Outside the Church of San Damiano

'Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yield its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither - whatever they do prosper.' Psalm 1:1-3

It was 9 Sep 2007 and we spent that week at Assisi to appreciate the life and deeds of St Francis of Assisi. Arriving at the Church of San Damiano we surveyed the Spoleto valley and noticed several sculptures in the garden including one of a Franciscan monk meditating while facing the valley below.  

St Francis was near San Damiano when driven by the Holy Spirit he entered the ruins of the old church to pray and meditate. While meditating before the Crucifix, it was written that 'he was invaded with a great spiritual consolation and, as he affixed his tearful eyes on the cross of the Lord, with the ears of his body he heard a voice descend to him from the cross and say three times Francis, go and repair my church which, as you see, is all in ruins!. On hearing that voice, Francis remained astonished and trembling, being in the church alone and, perceiving in his heart the power of divine language, felt kidnapped of his senses.'

The sculpture commemorates this event in the life of St Francis when during meditation and deep in prayer, the saint heard the voice of God. 

Father Laurence Freeman, a Benedictine monk and Director of the World Community of Christian Meditation, said "Meditation is a universal human wisdom, sorely needed today in all walks of life and at all stages of life. Although the roots of meditation in a transcultural and transhistorical tradition is not framed in a particular belief system, for those with a religious faith, learning to meditate may also offer surprising new ways of understanding and deepening of their faith" (Ref 1). Christians can practise meditation in the Christian contemplative traditions.

For those who would like to begin the discipline of Christian meditation, I  recommend reading the book written by Father Laurence Freeman, Light Within -  Meditation as Pure Prayer (Ref 2)

Why meditate? Meditation ushers us into the presence of God. We know that the Holy Spirit is always present in the lives of Christians but the moment of meditation is the time of awareness of God. St Francis in meditation and prayer at San Damiano reached a oneness with the Holy Spirit. 

I learned during meditation, to keep my body still, my mind silent, then in that stillness and silence to allow my spirit to soar. These stages can occur sequentially or simultaneously but it will require discipline and practice. 

Still. Keeping the body still sets the stage for a perfect reflection or contemplation, as this picture taken of the Black Dragon Pool in LiJiang, Yunnan Province demonstrated.

A Perfect Reflection, Black Dragon Pool, LiJiang

I found that keeping the body still is the easiest step to achieve. With the right relaxed posture the body sets the stage, the same way that this pool of still water sets the stage for the image of a beautiful pleasant scenery reflected upon it. Throw a pebble into the pool and it disrupts the image. In the same way, a body movement will disrupt the contemplative moment.

Silence. The next step, keeping the mind silent is more difficult. The body may be still but the mind is always moving, always thinking and always distracting. Those who meditate will suggest to keep away these distracting thoughts by repeating a mantra.  

This picture was taken just before dawn from a hotel window in Grenoble, France

Just Before Dawn, Grenoble, France

There is a phrase, 'The darkest hour is just before dawn.' I think that the darkness in that phrase is not meant in terms of light but sound; of quiet and peace. Just before dawn, before the world stirs, before the birds sing, is the most peaceful moment of the day. In the same way, if we want to hear the voice of God, we should remove our thoughts from distractions, we should keep our minds silent and peaceful.

Soar. Eric Liddell the Scotsman, Missionary and Olympian said, 'When I run I feel God's presence.' He meant that when he is engaged in his favourite activity he senses a connectivity with God. It is like the bird on the wind, soaring in the presence and oneness with the Creator.

The Bird on the Wind

I have not experienced this stage of meditation but those who practice meditation for many years will bear witness; their spirits soar. The Bible teaches that our spirits co-mingle with the Holy Spirit and identifies us as children of God. At that moment in meditation, I hope to pay attention to God and allow my spirit to soar in His presence. Father Laurence shared of the ability to pay attention to a unique person, the manifestation of the Divine, the presence of Jesus Christ.

 

So Christian meditation is not just about a personal uplifting of the spirit, it involves the Triune God and our spirit communicates with the Holy Spirit. It is silent prayer as noted by St Paul in Romans 8:26 (CEV)

'In certain ways we are weak but the Spirit is here to help us. For example, when we don't know what to pray for, the Spirit prays for us in ways that cannot be put into words. '

On the surface,  everything in meditation seem to be centred within that is towards the inner self or going to the inner room. This is a paradox because the post-meditation outcomes are all reaching out towards an others-centredness. In a seminar at DP Architects, Father Laurence shared that meditation 

• Creates community and connectedness with others
• Releases the power of forgiveness and reconciliation
• Removes the clutches of fear
• Promotes selfless attention towards others
• Expresses unselfish love 
• Heals relationships with self and others. 

The discipline of meditation changes a person in two directions, inwardly and outwardly. Inwardly, towards a life of contemplative worship. Outwardly, towards a life of selfless service. Come to think of it, this duality anchored the life of St Francis of Assisi and many other saints and heroes of the Christian faith.

 

May Christian Meditation set my spirit free for worship and service.

Lionel

Ref 1: Laurence Freeman OSB. Good Work - Meditation For Personal and Organisational Transformation. Meditatio 2019.

Ref 2: Laurence Freeman OSB. Light Within - Meditation as Pure Prayer. the Canterbury Press Norwich 2008

 

Come To The Water

On the Road to Damascus

“The Lord your God is with you. He will take great delight in you; he will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing” Zephaniah 3:17

The search for God is vividly described in Psalms 69:2-3, 

'I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the flood engulfs me. I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for God.'

Many understand the sensations of hunger and thirst as basic needs of the body. Others, however, hunger and thirst not for food and water but desire emotional, intellectual and spiritual nourishment. Still others crave for moments of spiritual ecstasy as vividly portrayed in the sculpture by Gian Lorenzo Bernini of St Teresa of Avila in the Church of Santa Maria della Vittoria in Rome. 

Ecstasy of St Teresa of Avila 

St Teresa described this experience, "I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying."

Neuroscientists studied the ecstasy of a religious experience, through studying the excitation of different parts of the brain during deep meditation. An article in the New Scientist entitled ‘In Search of God’ described scientific experiments by Andrew Newberg and Eugene d’Aquili during which eight meditation practitioners underwent brain imaging. These neuroscientists noted a relative deactivation of the parietal lobe that regulate attention and self awareness but the limbic system which regulate emotions became activated. Apparently the same findings will occur for Tibetan monks as for Franciscan nuns, indicating that whatever the religious beliefs, there is a common pathway in the brain for the ‘touching God experience.’ 

Skeptics have used these findings to argue that God has no real existence, that the presence of God is actually just a result of chemical induction of brain functions. On the other hand, one can argue that God made and designed us so that we would have the neuro-ability for this interaction. Blaise Pascal said, "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator made known through Jesus.”

The Cliffs of Solva, Wales

The hunger and thirst for a special relationship with God is a natural yearning because we are created in God’s image. The wonderful news is that while we search, God reaches out to establish a warm and personal relationship with us. 

“The Lord your God is with you. He will take great delight in you; he will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17). 

St Paul, thought that he knew God. He was so adamant and bigoted in his belief that he strenuously persecuted the Christians. However, while steeped in this activity of searching out Christians to persecute, Christ found Paul instead. It was a spectacular and vivid visitation on that road to Damascus. Later, Paul wrote to the Church at Philippi about this unsurpassing find 

'But whatever gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything as a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage that I may gain Christ.' Phil 3: 7-8

 

Jesus offers to all of us the same privilege of a relationship with God. He admits us into this special relationship on the condition of our faith and belief in Him. For the religious mystics amongst us, we can indeed delve into the realm of the limbic system activation when we meditate. But be it as it may, this experience profound or ordinary, only occurs by the grace of God; a gift we receive which we do not deserve. 

The prophet Isaiah wrote, 

Come, all you who are thirsty, Come to the waters. Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near.' Isaiah 55:1,6   

And Jesus said come to the waters

Stand by my side

I know you are thirsty you won't be denied

I felt every teardrop when in darkness you cried

And I strove to remind You 

That for those tears I died

You said You'd come and share all my sorrow

You said You'd be there for all my tomorrow

I came so close to sending You away

But just as you've promised

You came there to stay

I just had to pray

Your goodness so great I can't understand

And dear Lord I know that all this was planned

I know you're here now and always will be

And Your love loosed my chains

And in You I'm free

But Jesus why me 

Jesus I gave You my heart and my soul

I know that without God I'd never be whole

Saviour You opened all the right doors

And I thank you and praise You

From earth's humble shores

Take me I'm yours.

Jesus said, 

'I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.'

Lionel

The Compassionate God

 

Michelangelo's Last Judgement, Sistine Chapel

'Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression.... You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; You will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.' Micah 7:18-19

I was converted to Christianity from a religion of ancestral worship and of praying with joss sticks to very fierce looking gods in the Chinese temples. I remember going to Haw Par Villa and staring in fear at the figurines of souls being tortured in hell. My mum would whisper in my ears this would be the fate of naughty children. My vivid memories when visiting the Chinese temples were the large statues of fearsome Taoist mythical gods down on me. They look merciless. 

My childhood home at Kim Chuan Road was about 200 metres from a neighbour who was a temple medium. Visitors would come to ask the medium to tell their fortune or bring offerings. Then he would performed a ritual in which he would go into a trance, whipped his body and cut his tongue with a sharp sword. I was so afraid each time I heard the clanging of gongs and cymbals; more so when returning home from school I had to pass by the house-temple just a few feet away as the medium went into a trance. 

There is a annual procession of the Nine-Emperor Gods from Lorong Tai Seng near where I lived, to Kusu Island. We were brought to watch the processions which were loud and noisy. The men who carried the palanquins of the gods would go into a trance, move and shake uncontrollably as the palanquins were made to sway from side to side. Firecrackers were lighted and thrown at the feet of the pall bearers. I was always frightened.

So, accompanying our parents to worship in these temples or being made to join the processions of the gods, children became acquainted with good and evil and the reality of hell. We grew up trapped in a fatalistic view of life and its inevitable cycles of naughty deeds and punishment. The only recourse, it seems, was to appease these Gods by offerings, incense, prayer and worship.

How can we can escape the entrapment; the fierce  stares of these idols? How can we escape the gates of hell? How can we atone for our sins? 

Fortunately from this religious background of deeds, rewards and retribution, I found the God of Christianity and discovered that my sins can be forgiven. I no longer need to live in fear of hell and recrimination. I discovered the compassionate God of Christianity whose forgiveness is well extolled in Psalm 103. 

'Praise the Lord, my soul and forget not all His benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pits and crowns you with love and compassion.' Psalm 103:2-4

'The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.' Psalm 103:8

'He will not always accuse nor will he harbour His anger forever; He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.' Psalms 103:9-10

'Praise the Lord, my soul and forget not all His benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.' Psalm 103:3-4

As a father has compassion on His children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.' Psalms 103:13

However, this forgiveness is not simply dispensed automatically as with modern day ATMs. Instead it is related to the salvation found in Jesus Christ. It starts with the realisation of sin and evil and culminates in the compassionate forgiveness of sin in Jesus Christ. The truth of John 3:16-17 turned me from living in fear to living in faith.

'For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.' John 3:16-17

This dual and intertwining dispensations of salvation and forgiveness is magnificently portrayed in the painting of The Last Judgement by Michelangelo on the altar wall of the Sistine chapel, St Peter's Basilica, Vatican City. Michelangelo depicted human characters and their passages to hell or heaven, the consequences of life. At very centre of this human drama is the compelling image of Jesus Christ, whose forgiveness rescued us from condemnation to salvation.  

This same epiphany is also exclaimed in Charles Wesley's hymn  'And Can It Be'. Kindly listen to it, beautifully sung by the 200 voices choir of Chennai India.

And can it be that I should gain

An interest in the Savior’s blood
Died He for me, who caused His pain
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace
Emptied Himself of all but love
And bled for Adam’s helpless race
‘Tis mercy all, immense and free
For O my God, it found out me!
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light
My chains fell off, my heart was free
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee
Amazing love! How can it be
That Thou, my God shouldst die for me?

No condemnation now I dread
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine
Alive in Him, my living Head
And clothed in righteousness divine
Bold I approach the eternal throne
And claim the crown, through Christ my own
Amazing love! How can it be
That Thou my God, shouldst die for me?

And so, rather than cringe under the accusing and condemning eyes of Taoist mythical gods, I seek forgiveness from a compassionate God, the same way that David did in Psalm 51:1-3

'Have mercy on me, O God, according to our Your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know that my transgressions and my sin is always before me' 

Like the Wesleyan hymn this prayer is well articulated by a modern hymn All We Like Sheep by Don Moen

All we like sheep have gone astray

Each of us turning our own separate way

We have all sinned and fallen short of Your glory

But Your glory is what we desire to see

And in Your presence is where we long to be

O Lord show us Your mercy and grace

Take us to Your holy place forgive our sin 

and heal our land we long to live

In Your presence once again

Taking our sickness, taking our pain

Jesus the sacrifice Lamb has been slain

He was despised rejected by men He took our sin

Draw us near to you, Father through Jesus Your Son

Let us worship before You cleansed by Your blood

Have you been to Jesus for this cleansing power? The cleansing of the soul from sin is not just by right or good deeds or making restitution. The cleansing is provided entirely by the grace of God.

Lionel

Is God Absent?

 

'God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.' Psalms 46:1

All over the world, people are reeling under the scourge of the Covid-19 pandemic. As of today, 194,476,739 persons have been infected and 4,167,020 have died. It is not only those who have succumbed to the infection who are suffering, many others suffer economic hardships. Businesses are forced to close, many families are left destitute. It is altogether a dismal time.

In this situation many Christians prayed and waited for relief from God but after more than two years help seem to be withheld. Many may feel that God is silent, God is absent in this predicament. Is God Absent? 

The absence of God in the face of extreme suffering and persecution was explored in a historical fiction entitled Silence written by Japanese Catholic Shusaku Endo. It was made into a film directed by Martin Scorsese and starring Liam Neeson and Andrew Garfield.

Most of us are unaware that Japan had a strong Christian community in the 17th Century. In the southern islands of Kyushu and Shikoku, Christian daimyos (warlords) ruled. However during the Tokugawa Shogunate, there was a brutal persecution of Japanese Christians. Christians were tortured, made to repudiate their faith and forced to go into hiding. The Christian population in Japan dwindled significantly.

There is an extremely good synopsis and analysis of the film Silence placed on YouTube by Josh Keefe which I recommend you watch to understand the issues surrounding the silence of God. 

The author Shusaku Endo wrote, "I had long read about the martyrdom in the lives of the saints – how the souls of the martyrs had gone home to Heaven, how they had been filled with glory in Paradise, how the angels had blown trumpets. This was the splendid martyrdom I had often seen in my dreams. But the martyrdom of the Japanese Christians I now describe to you was no such glorious thing. What a miserable and painful business it was!" ( Ref 1)

It is timely for us to reflect on the age-old questions, Why does God allow suffering? Why in the midst of suffering was God silent? Where is God? 

My friend, William Wan sent me an article written by Dr Patrick Zukeran; a good commentary of the movie as well as a Christian apologetic on this question of Silence and Suffering (Ref 2). 

Zukeran wrote, "I believe Endo wants us to understand the struggle of persecuted Christians and wants us to understand they wrestle with their guilt for the rest of their lives....another lesson Endo wants us to learn is that God is not silent; He remains with His people in their suffering and never abandons His people.  Throughout church history, Christians have faced brutal persecutions. Even Christ, the Son of God suffered the most dreadful death on the cross. Therefore, God understands the pain we experience, He grieves at the wickedness of men, and He promises to be with us always."

Eventually the priest in the film, Father Rodrigues broke, unable to bear the psychological torture of having to witness the physical torture of the Japanese Christians. He stepped on the image of Christ. As he stepped on that image, instead of anger in the eyes of Christ, he saw eyes of understanding and love and he visualised, "Even now that face is looking at me with eyes of pity from the plaque rubbed by many feet. “Trample!” said those compassionate eyes. “Trample! Your foot suffers in pain; it must suffer like all the feet that have stepped on this plaque. But that pain alone is enough. I understand your pain and your suffering. It is for that reason I am here.”

In suffering, Christians identify with the suffering of Christ as He was tortured and crucified. The Apostle Paul wrote about his experience with suffering and concluded,

'so I could know Christ personally, experience His resurrection power, be a partner of His sufferings, and go all the way with Him to death itself.' Philippians 3:10-11

In thinking about the book and film, I learned that though God may be silent at times, He is always present. Yes God is present at times of distress even in this pandemic and God is present always. Ng Kok Song, a friend, said this recently in an international meditation group of business leaders, "God is always present in us, around us, everywhere. If God is not present, everything would dissolve. The problem is that we are absent most of the time, except during particular times of prayer and meditation, where we try to become present to the Presence."

Kok Song's sharing brings to mind Psalm 46:1-3

'God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.'

This song, You are Mine will underscores this immutable fact and comforts us.

I will come to you in the silence

I will lift you from all your fear

You will hear My voice

I claim you as My choice

Be still, and know I am near

I am hope for all who are hopeless

I am eyes for all who long to see

In the shadows of the night,

I will be your light

Come and rest in Me

Do not be afraid, I am with you

I have called you each by name

Come and follow Me

I will bring you home

I love you and you are mine

I am strength for all the despairing

Healing for the ones who dwell in shame

All the blind will see, the lame will all run free

And all will know My name

Do not be afraid, I am with you

I have called you each by name

Come and follow Me

I will bring you home

I love you and you are mine

I am the Word that leads all to freedom

I am the peace the world cannot give

I will call your name, embracing all your pain

Stand up, now, walk, and live

Do not be afraid, I am with you

I have called you each by name

Come and follow Me

I will bring you home

I love you and you are mine

Do not be afraid, I am with you

I have called you each by name

Come and follow Me

I will bring you home

I love you and you are mine

In times like these, help will come from God. 

'I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the make of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, He who watches you will not slumber nor sleep.' Psalm 121:1-3

Lionel

Ref 1 Shusaku Endo, Silence. New York: Taplinger Publishing Company, 1969

Ref 2: https://evidenceandanswers.org/article/silence-the-hidden-story-of-the-japanese-christians/