You've Got A Friend

"Greater love has no one than this; to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends.." John 15:13-14a

Songwriters write songs of love and romance. Seldom do they write about friendships; the pure and warm relationships of sisterly or brotherly love. Christians call this Agape, a love that comes from God. 

One of my favourite songs is "You've Got a Friend" written by Carole King. It is rare to find a song expressing the special relationship between friends without tingeing it with expressions of romance and love. Carole stated that "the song was as close to pure inspiration as I've ever experienced. The song wrote itself. It was written by something outside myself, through me."

One can understand why Carole felt that way. The words, simple in themselves, convey a pure down to earth message.

When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby, to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you've got to do is call
And I'll be there, ye, ye, ye
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knockin' at your door

For a long time I felt quite uncomfortable with Agape, the Christian concept of brotherly or sisterly love. If a certain fondness develop towards another brother or sister, I would instantly recoil from it, fearful that such relationships could lead to romantic attachments or nuances. So my relationships with the ladies tend to be superficial and at arms length. As a result the same superficiality is applied to friendships with men.

With time, however, I learnt that striking up deep and sincere friendships need not be a taboo. I started making very good friends without worrying about giving wrong impressions. Friendship can be a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern of each friend for the welfare and well being of the other. One need not fear it or shrink from it. How else would long lasting friendships be made?

Friendship started with God Himself. At creation God extended His hands toward humanity and sought the company of those He created. This special relationship was broken by the original sin and adulterated with the Fall. Some may fear to make good friends as we fear what is good and pure can become soiled. 

Thus good friends are hard to find. If made, they will stick as close to you as family, yet make space when needed. In moments of weakness they will be there to strengthen you. When life falls apart they do not forsake you. Albert Schweitzer once said, "At times our light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame in us". 

That is why at every New Year's Eve, we sing the song Auld Lang Syne. The lyrics come from a poem written by the great Scottish poet, Robert Burns in 1788. It is set to an old folk tune which Robert Burns apparently rediscovered. The poem consists of rhetorical questions on friendships best illustrated by this version from James Watson.

Should old acquaintance be forgot
and never thought upon?
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone?
Is thy sweet heart now grown so cold,
that loving breast of thine?
That thou canst never once reflect
On old long syne?

The song is often sung over many a tankard of ale or jug of beer. When Auld Lang Syne is sung, one must be completely drunk or dead if one cannot appreciate the value of reconnecting with old friends and thinking about old times.

Let's celebrate friendship!

Lionel

Updated 1st published 22 Dec 2019

Generosity - the Joy of Giving

Generosity
Originally Uploaded by richbeechina

‘Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them?’ Ecc 5:10-11  

In today's materialistic society, we are tempted to buy more than we actually need. Going home after shopping, we are carrying lots of shopping bags full of things we will seldom use. We shoppers do not open our eyes. We fail to see that in the same places where the shopping is good, there are also many people who are very poor and needy. Many of our neighbours struggle to put food on the table. Yet we go around wasting our money and showing off our wealth.

Can we give up our spendthrift ways? Can we help others in need? Someone shared:

Why should we give money to save the heathen abroad 

when there are heathens in our own country yet to be saved.

Why should we give money to those in other parts of this country 

when there are needy ones in my own state.

Why should I give to those in other parts of the state 

when there are needy ones in my hometown.

Why should I give to the poor in the town 

when my own church needs the money.

Why should I give to the church 

when I should give to the family

Why should I give to the family what I want for myself.

Why?

Because I am a Christian and I am not a heathen. 

And a Christian is called to be generous.

 

What is generosity? It is the act of helping and giving willingly without expecting anything in return.

The first offerings described in the Bible is that by Cain and Abel in Gen 4:3-7. Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. God’s preference of Abel's to Cain's offering has nothing to do with meat over crop offering. Cain’s attitude in giving back to the Lord mirrors the attitudes of many Christians, we give what we think is good enough for God but not the best, not our first fruits.

Proverbs 3:9-10 encourages us to ‘Honour the LORD with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.’ The Christians who expound the prosperity gospel see this as a guarantee to wealth; give and you will get more. Grace and Blessings are not the results of bargain or tit-for-tat. To give generously and not expect anything in return is to honour God.

How can we be generous Christians?

Generosity comes by Purpose: John Wesley in his sermon “The Use of Money " had this to say “The love of money, we know, is the root of all evil; but not the thing itself. The fault does not lie in the money, but in them that use it. It may be used ill: and what may not? But it may likewise be used well: It is full(y) as applicable to the best, as to the worst uses.” The first lesson about being generous is to learn to use money for the good that can come from it. Cor 8:3,4 notes, "For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing the gospel." Instead of giving impulsively, give purposefully. 

Dr David Livingston, missionary and explorer extraordinaire said “I will place no value on anything I have or may possess except in relation to the kingdom of Christ. If anything I have will advance the interest of the kingdom it shall be used or given away. Only as by giving or using it, I may promote the glory of him who I owe all my hopes in time and eternity.” Another great doctor-missionary Albert Schweitzer said, “One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.” 

Generosity comes by Grace. 2 Cor 8:6 notes “ .. we urge Titus that as he begun so he would also complete this grace in you as well…meaning he would continue to encourage you to give as God’s grace enables you to.” We think that only rich people can be generous. When we meet a truly generous person – we know that it is a gift from God, a person given by God the gift of generosity.  Those who really give a lot don’t boast about it. They can be rich and they can be poor but they know deep inside that they can give only because they have experienced the love of God, the touch of God and they feel gratitude.

Hudson Taylor, a poor medical student, once chanced upon a widow with many children. One child was sick and in need of medicine. Hudson Taylor was filled with compassion; he started to pray. As he was praying he heard a voice whispering to him, “hypocrite.” He continued praying but the voice again said, ‘hypocrite.’ Hudson reached into his pocket and he felt a half a crown which was the next week’s tuition fees. Hudson gave that half crown to the widow and left, not knowing when he would eat his next meal. The next day, in the mail Hudson received a letter from a friend. The friend had written that he was moved to hand some money to Hudson. In that envelop was money seven times that half a crown.

Generosity comes by Giving. 2 Cor 8: 5 “And this they did not as we had expected but they first gave themselves to God and then to us by the will of God." John Wesley in the same sermon on the use of money said, “Let not any man imagine that he has done anything, barely by going thus far, by "gaining and saving all he can," if he were to stop here. All this is nothing, if a man go not forward. Add the third rule to the two preceding. Having, first, gained all you can, and, secondly saved all you can, then give all you can."

This is the time to give. The Corona virus pandemic is not just a threat to public health but also to economic livelihood. The requirement to stay at home and to close all businesses in order to break the cycle of transmission will bring untold suffering, loss of income and savings. Many Singaporeans will have difficulty to make ends meet. Furthermore thousands of foreign workers have been afflicted by the virus. Many of them are not able to work as the government shuts down all construction work. These people will need help.

If there is someone who has given generously, we will find in this person someone given to God. Our lives are in God’s hands. If you are truly consecrated to God what do you have to fear? That you have no money?

Lionel