"Greater love has no one than this; to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends.." John 15:13-14a
Songwriters write songs of love and romance. Seldom do they write about friendships; the pure and warm relationships of sisterly or brotherly love. Christians call this Agape, a love that comes from God.
One of my favourite songs is "You've Got a Friend" written by Carole King. It is rare to find a song expressing the special relationship between friends without tingeing it with expressions of romance and love. Carole stated that "the song was as close to pure inspiration as I've ever experienced. The song wrote itself. It was written by something outside myself, through me."
One can understand why Carole felt that way. The words, simple in themselves, convey a pure down to earth message.
When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby, to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you've got to do is call
And I'll be there, ye, ye, ye
You've got a friend
I'll come running, oh yeah baby, to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you've got to do is call
And I'll be there, ye, ye, ye
You've got a friend
If the sky above youGrows dark and full of cloudsAnd that old north wind begins to blowKeep your head togetherAnd call my name out loudSoon you'll hear me knockin' at your door
For a long time I felt quite uncomfortable with Agape, the Christian concept of brotherly or sisterly love. If a certain fondness develop towards another brother or sister, I would instantly recoil from it, fearful that such relationships could lead to romantic attachments or nuances. So my relationships with the ladies tend to be superficial and at arms length. As a result the same superficiality is applied to friendships with men.
With time, however, I learnt that striking up deep and sincere friendships need not be a taboo. I started making very good friends without worrying about giving wrong impressions. Friendship can be a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern of each friend for the welfare and well being of the other. One need not fear it or shrink from it. How else would long lasting friendships be made?
Friendship started with God Himself. At creation God extended His hands toward humanity and sought the company of those He created. This special relationship was broken by the original sin and adulterated with the Fall. Some may fear to make good friends as we fear what is good and pure can become soiled.
Thus good friends are hard to find. If made, they will stick as close to you as family, yet make space when needed. In moments of weakness they will be there to strengthen you. When life falls apart they do not forsake you. Albert Schweitzer once said, "At times our light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame in us".
That is why at every New Year's Eve, we sing the song Auld Lang Syne. The lyrics come from a poem written by the great Scottish poet, Robert Burns in 1788. It is set to an old folk tune which Robert Burns apparently rediscovered. The poem consists of rhetorical questions on friendships best illustrated by this version from James Watson.
Should old acquaintance be forgot
and never thought upon?
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone?
Is thy sweet heart now grown so cold,
that loving breast of thine?
That thou canst never once reflect
On old long syne?
and never thought upon?
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone?
Is thy sweet heart now grown so cold,
that loving breast of thine?
That thou canst never once reflect
On old long syne?
The song is often sung over many a tankard of ale or jug of beer. When Auld Lang Syne is sung, one must be completely drunk or dead if one cannot appreciate the value of reconnecting with old friends and thinking about old times.
Let's celebrate friendship!
Lionel
Updated 1st published 22 Dec 2019
