Shaping a Tree, Raising a Child

“Start a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it” Proverbs 22:6

Japanese gardens provide a stunning visual experience as one walks through it and enjoys the setting. This photo was taken on 1 May 2007 as Pat and I walked through Seiryu-en Garden in the Nijo Castle in Kyoto Japan. We were attracted to the beautiful trees across the pond on the small island. They have been shaped so nicely. The view is very pleasing to the eyes.

To achieve this effect, gardeners prune and sculpture trees during the early growth periods. Shoots are guided around round wires. The twist and turns of the stems and branches of the young trees are supported until the trunks are stronger. In the end these trees are shaped to their natural inclinations and bents. 

On 25 Sep 2013, then Minister for Education, Heng Swee Keat articulated some core beliefs which have guided  Singapore's educational principles. 

• First, every child can learn, whatever his starting point. We can and must help them find success in learning.

• Second, every child is different - siblings, even twins, can have very different interests and strengths! Each child will therefore succeed in different ways. 

• Third, our children will need different attributes to succeed in the future, because the world will be different - just as it is dramatically different today from even a decade ago.”

The clever gardener can envision the potential beauty of each young sapling and guide its growth so that eventually each tree will be differently shaped yet become equally pleasing. In the same way, every child is different. 

Similarly, the wise teacher and parent will teach and guide children understanding their natural inclinations, their ‘bents’. They can recognise, support the desirable tendencies whilst smoothing the rough patches and shaping out the bad and undesirable attributes. 

The Bible teaches that every child should be given the chance to start right. How do we start the child right? By initiating them to the love of God, as emphatically stressed to us,

'And you must love the Lord your God with all heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. And you must commit yourself wholeheartedly to these commands that I give you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.' Deuteronomy 6:5-7 (NLT)

This is the sacred duty of every Christian parent. 

'Children are a gift from the the Lord; they are a reward from Him' Psalm 127:3

Unfortunately, in today's world, single parent families have become common place. While this is not optimal for the children who thrive best when both parents are present during their upbringing, the responsible single parent can still have great success in raising children. The key is the nurturing of bonds of love within the family; single or both parents present.

These same bonds of love can be found in the church. The church as a family also has a duty to help nurture young children where we learn to show love and learn to cooperate and make friends. Coincidentally today, my church Charis Methodist Church celebrated Loving Families Sunday, an initiative led by the Chinese Annual Conference of the Methodist Church in Singapore. At the end of the worship service the congregation recited the Family Life Pledge.

There is a song by Jack Hartmann entitled 'We are Family,' that expresses this aspiration.

We’re big 

We're small
We’re young
And we're old
We’re all different people living together with love.

We laugh
We play
We learn everyday
We’re all different people living together with love.
Together with love.

And we are family 

Living, playing together
Together – together

We are a family
Wherever We may go
We are a family
I can feel our love grow
I can feel love grow

We hug
We care
We help

And we share
We’re all different people living together with love.

We sing

We hope
We dream
and we grow
We’re all different people living together with love.
Together with love.

And we are a family
Living working
Together – together

We are a family 
Wherever we may go
We are a family
I can feel our love – grow
I can feel love grow

The family, the church and society can help children to start right. 

Lionel

Updated 1st published 21 May 2007