Shaping a Tree, Raising a Child

“Start a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it” Proverbs 22:6

Japanese gardens provide a stunning visual experience as one walks through it and enjoys the setting. This photo was taken on 1 May 2007 as Pat and I walked through Seiryu-en Garden in the Nijo Castle in Kyoto Japan. We were attracted to the beautiful trees across the pond on the small island. They have been shaped so nicely. The view is very pleasing to the eyes.

To achieve this effect, gardeners prune and sculpture trees during the early growth periods. Shoots are guided around round wires. The twist and turns of the stems and branches of the young trees are supported until the trunks are stronger. In the end these trees are shaped to their natural inclinations and bents. 

On 25 Sep 2013, then Minister for Education, Heng Swee Keat articulated some core beliefs which have guided  Singapore's educational principles. 

• First, every child can learn, whatever his starting point. We can and must help them find success in learning.

• Second, every child is different - siblings, even twins, can have very different interests and strengths! Each child will therefore succeed in different ways. 

• Third, our children will need different attributes to succeed in the future, because the world will be different - just as it is dramatically different today from even a decade ago.”

The clever gardener can envision the potential beauty of each young sapling and guide its growth so that eventually each tree will be differently shaped yet become equally pleasing. In the same way, every child is different. 

Similarly, the wise teacher and parent will teach and guide children understanding their natural inclinations, their ‘bents’. They can recognise, support the desirable tendencies whilst smoothing the rough patches and shaping out the bad and undesirable attributes. 

The Bible teaches that every child should be given the chance to start right. How do we start the child right? By initiating them to the love of God, as emphatically stressed to us,

'And you must love the Lord your God with all heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. And you must commit yourself wholeheartedly to these commands that I give you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.' Deuteronomy 6:5-7 (NLT)

This is the sacred duty of every Christian parent. 

'Children are a gift from the the Lord; they are a reward from Him' Psalm 127:3

Unfortunately, in today's world, single parent families have become common place. While this is not optimal for the children who thrive best when both parents are present during their upbringing, the responsible single parent can still have great success in raising children. The key is the nurturing of bonds of love within the family; single or both parents present.

These same bonds of love can be found in the church. The church as a family also has a duty to help nurture young children where we learn to show love and learn to cooperate and make friends. Coincidentally today, my church Charis Methodist Church celebrated Loving Families Sunday, an initiative led by the Chinese Annual Conference of the Methodist Church in Singapore. At the end of the worship service the congregation recited the Family Life Pledge.

There is a song by Jack Hartmann entitled 'We are Family,' that expresses this aspiration.

We’re big 

We're small
We’re young
And we're old
We’re all different people living together with love.

We laugh
We play
We learn everyday
We’re all different people living together with love.
Together with love.

And we are family 

Living, playing together
Together – together

We are a family
Wherever We may go
We are a family
I can feel our love grow
I can feel love grow

We hug
We care
We help

And we share
We’re all different people living together with love.

We sing

We hope
We dream
and we grow
We’re all different people living together with love.
Together with love.

And we are a family
Living working
Together – together

We are a family 
Wherever we may go
We are a family
I can feel our love – grow
I can feel love grow

The family, the church and society can help children to start right. 

Lionel

Updated 1st published 21 May 2007

Welcome To The Family

The Charis Methodist Church Family

'Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom. They tell of Your mighty acts. They speak of the glorious splendor of Your majesty. They tell of the power of Your awesome works. They celebrate Your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of Your righteousness. ' Psalm 145:3a,4a,5a,6a,7

 

Why do we go to church?

• To worship God
• To sing praises
• To sing hymns
• To pray
• To hear God's Words read from the Bible.
• To hear inspirational sermons
• To hear good music and chorale singing
• To enjoy sanctuary.
• To fellowship with friends and encourage one another.

The answer to the question should be all of the above and in that answer we give the full expression for church attendance, as one family and the body of Christ,  Total Church. 

There is a special meaning for me to come for the worship service of my church, Charis Methodist Church. I come to join my friends, my brothers and sisters in worship and confession of my faith. It is my spiritual refreshment at the start of every week. King David wrote of the joy of corporate worship.

'I was glad when they said to me, "Let us go to the house of the Lord.' Psalms 122:1 (NLT) 

Nowadays the standard of the preaching or the quality of the music seem to be the main attractions. Many move from church to church, now from zoom to zoom, to hear the great speakers that can inspire and deliver good sermons every week. Others are attracted to the praise singing or the choir. Unfortunately not all local churches will be so endowed or gifted, thus leaving some members disappointed. 

If we come for Sunday service only for the sermons and music, we fail to understand the two imperatives for regular church attendance

• To worship God -the Triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit
• To profess the spirit of the Christian family - the Body of Christ

Every Sunday serves to bring out these two aspects of the church, the Corporate Worship and the Family of Believers. 

When a person enters the house of God, he should be struck by reverential awe. The architecture of the sanctuary, whether simple or ornate should help the worshipper sense peace and beauty. 

St Peter's Church, Munich

'One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.' Psalm 27:4

The Orthodox Christians celebrate Christ, the Lord of Hosts and adorn their churches with gilded icons and golden coloured frescoes to uplift the Christus Pantocratos. The crucifix in Catholic churches draws attention to the suffering and sacrifice of Christ. The simple cross in Protestant churches celebrates the victory of the resurrected Christ. Yet some others, like the Quakers believe in making their sanctuary simple and minimalistic. 

Some churches used the organ, piano and choir in the prelude, during and postlude to help in the worship. Others use prayer and praise sessions. Still others use silence and prayer. All should help direct the congregants' attention to God and enhance the spirit of connection.

The song, 'Come Now Is The Time To Worship' helps express this connection.

 

Come, now is the time to worship
Come, now is the time to give your heart
Come, just as you are to worship
Come, just as you are before your God, Come

One day every tongue will confess You are God
One day every knee will bow
Still the greatest treasure remains for those
Who gladly choose You now

The second imperative to come to church is the gathering of the family of God. This gathering allows 'Koinonia' or Fellowship. We build our friendships and learn to grow along with others as Christian brothers and sisters. We help, comfort, and strengthen each other. The Bible encourages us to meet together regularly for mutual encouragement and spurring each other to remain faithful.

'And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another...' Hebrews 10:24-25

This expression of family strengthens the church and in turn allows the congregation to go beyond themselves to consider outreach and service to others. We engage as one family in missions, evangelism, witnessing, social concerns and outreach. Just as worship enables the vertical relationship between Church and God, fellowship strengthens the horizontal relationships between friends, families and reaches out to the the community. This is an expression of the Total Church

This song, 'Welcome to the Family' sends a powerful message of our Christian bonds and expressions of love for one another.

Welcome to the family
We're glad that you have come
To share your life with us
As we grow in love and
May we always be to you
What God would have us be
A family always there
To be strong and to lean on,

May we learn to love each other
More with each new day
May words of love be on our lips
In everything we say
May the Spirit melt our hearts
And teach us how to pray
That we might be a true family

Going to church is not personal, the church is family. It is timely that we free ourselves from personal preoccupations with sermons or music, important though they may be, but to consider brothers and sisters, coming together, to express 'Total Church.'

Lionel

The Distinctive Marks of Strong Christian Families

 

Amish Barn Raising

'The promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.' Acts 2:32

Civilizations and nations that thrive understand that underpinning their strength is the attention and priority to strong family principles and values. But, these days, children like to be independent at very early ages. This streak of independence and self-help is not wrong in itself; what will be missed is the sense of community and togetherness of strong families when times become difficult. 

Gotong Royong

In Singapore and Malaysia there is a Malay term ‘gotong-royong.’ Gotong Royong exist in the Malay kampongs (enclaves) where families will chip in and help another family in need or the whole community in a spirit of co-operation. You see this same spirit in the Amish community as noted by barn raisings. Neighbors freely give of their time and their skills to help one another. When children leave home too early without first capturing the gotong-royong or family spirit something will remain missing in their lives.

The Lee Family

Christianity emphasises the importance of keeping the family strong but at no other times are family values threatened and undervalued than in these modern times. To prevent this it may be useful for us to heed the guidance of God in establishing strong Christian principles of keeping our family together. Effective family life does not just happen; it’s the result of deliberate intention and practice. If countries are underpinned by strong families then strong families are undergirded by God's teachings. What are these principles?

 

Hear the Truth Continually. 

'Hear O Israel, the Lord is Our God, the Lord is one.' Deuteronomy 6:4 

Strong families lean hard on some unshakeable facts and this is a major one. The Lord is OUR God is not a statement to be uttered like some mantra but to be lived. The is not a personal matter but must be our family statement. Just as the Lord is One, the family is also one. 

Love the Lord fervently. 

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.' Deuteronomy 6:5-6  

Underline the word ALL. Our love for God must be complete. It is not possible to transfer to our children a principle and then to propagate through the succeeding generations if we as parents do not personally embrace a love for God that permeates all of our being. The family’s love for God must be a deep down dedication. 

Teach the Young Diligently. 

'Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.' Deuteronomy 6:7

The take-home message here is one of intensity, to teach every time and every where. To do this, teaching must be such that it is done in very natural setting making use of every opportunity that life presents to point the children to God and His love. The teaching has to be consistent and in many ways repetitious. It is not only to be communicated with verbal cues but with visual cues, body language - parents must live the teaching.

Extended Lee Family

Fear the Lord Greatly. 

'I gave you land you have not worked on, and I gave you towns you did not build - the towns where you are now living. I gave you vineyards and olive groves for food, though you did not plant them. So fear the lord and serve him wholehearted.... Serve the Lord alone.' Joshua 24:13-14  

The things we own, our wealth, our other blessings comes directly from God. God is always looking out for us. There is a saying 'do not bite the hand that feed you.' How easy when blessed to adopt a presumptuous and arrogant spirit? We are surrounded by other gods of materialism, fame, riches, power, ambition, etc. We need a healthy dose of the ‘fear of God,' the reverence and a wholesome respect for His sovereignty and primacy in our lives and our families. 

Strong families build strong houses. Strong families are also the underpinnings of strong churches. Welcome to the Family! 

Welcome to the family
We're glad that you have come
To share your life with us
As we grow in love and
May we always be to you
What God would have us be
A family always there
To be strong and to lean on,

May we learn to love each other
More with each new day
May words of love be on our lips
In everything we say
May the Spirit melt our hearts
And teach us how to pray
That we might be a true family

Lionel

Updated 1st Published 28 Jul 2007