Eleanor Rigby - All The Lonely People

Statue of Eleanor Rigby, Liverpool

'The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like the cedar in Lebanon...They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green.' Psalm 92:12, 14

 

In the St Peter's Church Graveyard in Woolton, Liverpool, a gravestone  bears the name Eleanor Rigby. Eleanor Rigby is the title of a familiar and catchy tune by the Beatles. Paul McCartney consistently denied that he took the name from the gravestone. It remains a favourite tune played over the airwaves and computer bytes to this day. 

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby

Picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been

Lives in a dream

Waits at the window

Wearing a face which she keeps in a jar by the door

Who is it for?

All the lonely people

 Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong

 

Father McKenzie

Writing the words of a sermon that no-one will hear

No-one comes near

Look at him working

Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there

What does he care?

Eleanor Rigby

Died in the church and was buried along with her name

Nobody came

Father McKenzie

Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave

No one was saved

Paul wrote that he lived in a housing estate in which there were lots of old ladies. He enjoyed sitting around with these dear ladies hearing their great stories. He surmised that these were lonely old ladies. Their loneliness connected him with them. 

This song released in 1966, paints a pathetic picture of the elderly, especially of Christians, who spent their time in empty churches listening to sermons that nobody wants to hear. When they die, they depart into oblivion; nobody remembers and nobody cares. It is an unfortunate and sad commentary of old age.

Shakespeare in the play As You Like It, described this decline.

'Last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history is second childishness and mere oblivion;

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste and sans everything.'

But it need not and should not be this way. The back cover of Bishop Solomon's book Growing Old Gracefully (Ref 1) literally shouts, 'Growing old doesn't have to be about frailties, loneliness and loss of purpose.' In this book,  Bishop Robert Solomon urges old men and women to take on old age realistically by balancing frailties with continued optimism of useful service and activities.

J I Packer in the book, Finishing Our Course With Joy (Ref 2) wrote, 'Some grow old gracefully, meaning, fully in the grip of the grace of God. Increasingly they display a well-developed understanding with a well formed character; firm, resilient and unyielding.' Packer calls this 'Spiritual Ripeness' which he opines to be worth far more than material wealth. As we age, Packer suggests, like runners in a distance race, we should try to keep something in reserve for the final sprint. 

This final reserve lived with extreme poise and grace was well documented by Mitch Albom in his bestseller, Tuesdays with Morrie (Ref 3). Prof Morrie Swatch had ALS, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, a neurological condition affecting the muscles in slow progression and causing weakness and paralysis until it reaches the respiratory muscles; the victim dies of suffocation. Prof Swatch shared his wasting away, dying experience with Ted Koppel in ABC's Nightline and with his student, Mitch Albom. A reviewer, Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote, "A deeply moving account of courage and wisdom, shared by an inveterate mentor looking into the multi textured face of his own death. There is much to be learned by sitting in on this final class."  

Morrie Swatch shared his view on Aging, "I embrace aging. It's very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."

Are we worried of the loneliness that comes with aging, leading to a death to which nobody would come? Reading Morrie's commentaries brings to mind another song written by a lesser known English duo Stuart Townend and Mark Edwards, 'There Is A Hope.' This song explores hope, Christian hope, instead of despair.      

There is a hope that burns within my heart

That gives me strength for every passing day

A glimpse of glory now revealed in meagre part

Yet drives all doubt away

I stand in Christ with sins forgiven

And Christ in me the hope of heaven

My highest calling and my deepest joy

To make His will my home.

There is a hope that lifts my weary head

A consolation strong against despair

That when the world has plunged me in its deepest pit

I find the Saviour there

Through present sufferings future's fear

He whispers courage in my ear

For I am safe in everlasting arms

And they will lead me home.

There is a hope that stands the test of time

That lifts my eyes beyond the beckoning grave

To see the matchless beauty of a day divine

When I behold His face

When sufferings cease and sorrows die

And every longing satisfied

Then joy unspeakable will flood my soul

For I am truly home

In the story behind the song, Stuart Townend wrote, "When the Bible talks of hope, it talks of something that can be broken down into two certainties. The first is that no matter where we go and what we do in this life, God will be with us, and He will love us. The second is that when this life is over, we will not perish but will spend eternity at home with Christ. These certain hopes puts everything in our lives into perspective, and we can live by faith on the solid and certain hope that Christ gives us."

True, though it may be, we need to counterpoise the circumstances of Eleanor Rigby with the promise and expectation of There is a Hope. Then we may grow old gracefully. 

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:19

Lionel

Ref 1: Robert Solomon. Growing Old Gracefully, Following Jesus to the End. Discovery House, 2019

Ref 2: J I Packer. Finishing Our Course With Joy, Crossway, 2014

Ref 3: Mitch Albom. Tuesdays with Morrie. Anchor Books, 1997

Begin The Journey With The End In Mind.

 

'Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession before many witnesses.'  1 Tim 6:12

We bade farewell to Sim Hee Wan, a long time church friend. He fought a 2 year battle against pancreatic cancer. I can sense the difficulty our church had in bidding our farewell to Hee Wan. He was still a young father, leaving behind a young wife and two small children. At the wake and cremation, his wife and friends shared strong and stirring testimonies of being touched by a quiet, unassuming witness of a Christian who has the gift of encouraging others. 

In 1 Tim 6: 12, the Apostle Paul wrote

'Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.'

Although this verse is often quoted at many a funeral wake, Hee Wan had a special claim to this verse and it would do well to learn the lesson he was teaching us.

The last two years of Hee Wan’s journey and good fight was tough and difficult. He shared his thoughts of this journey once:- “My family took the 4 hours drive up Malaysia to attend the church camp. As expected the question from the back seat ever so often during the drive was "Are we there yet?" The journey really felt unending to my two children. I find myself asking God the same question. "Am I there yet?" 

It has been 6 months since I started on my chemo treatment. The good news first, the cancer marker count has gone down from the 600+ to 80+. The recent CT scan in May 2007 also showed a small shrinkage in size of the tumour. My doctor told me that the treatment is working for me. I would need to continue with my chemo for 2 more weeks, from 5 June, before he decides on the next course of action. Currently, my physical condition is quite good, hardly experiencing any pain, living quite a normal life, thank God! At this moment, I really don't know how long this journey is going to be. All I know is "He" is doing the driving, and me asking Him the same question over and over again. I believe in good time I will arrive!"

Well in the meantime, we will just have to do what St Paul said, "Whatever that is of good report, think of these things" 

Hee Wan showed me the secret of beginning a journey with the end in mind. Somewhere in his ‘fighting the good fight of faith,’ he learnt that life on earth is about transforming the soul and not about sustaining the body. We are always more preoccupied about our physical selves, more nurturing of our health than about being conscious of our souls.

Consider what Hee Wan wrote on 24 Sep 2007, "I want my life to fulfill God's purposes. In worship to Him through every act I make! In fellowship with His people by putting aside time for them. In having the mind of Christ to be more like Him. In serving His people to be a giver of strength, time and money and to teach people who do not know Christ by being a friend to them."

Psalms 1:2-3

'His delight is in the law of the Lord and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruits in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does he prospers.'

describes a man who nurtured his soul properly under God. That man is like a tree planted by steams of water. No matter what the weather and storms of life, the roots go down into the water sources and bring up life. By doing so he becomes a man who is able to respond to the situations of life in ways that are good and right. He provides thoughts, feelings, actions, relationships and behaviours that are right and in agreement with truth, fulfilling God’s purposes.

He achieves meaning in life. That is what all of us want, meaning for all that we do all and all that we are. Work, rest, struggles, family, friendships, parenting, community, beliefs, contacts must find meaningful experiences and expressions. This is what the Apostle Paul meant when he said in 2 Tim 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 

Did Hee Wan’s journey end? On the 1st April 2008, when Hee Wan drew his last breath, he arrived at heaven’s doors. You see Hee Wan began his journey with the end in mind and death is not the end.

Lionel

The Transition of a Good Life

Contemplation
Originally uploaded by Lees@Hollandia

Death is not a snuffing out of life; it is a transition into eternal life.

In the early morning of the 3 Sep 2007, my brother in law, Jimmy Goh died. A small malignant tumour in the lung had spread relentlessly over three years. It eventually spread to the brain. By God’s grace, in a coma, unaware of pain and other discomforts, he drew his last breath.

Jimmy was once a rotund, ruddy faced man. A man of sure faith who will not give up, the kind of faith that should God have willed it, he would be healed. All throughout his three years of struggle, he never gave up hope in the miracle of healing.

With every visitor to his bedside, he would always share the simple graces God has bestowed on him that day. There were many stories of his relationship with fellow patients almost always ending with the sharing of the Gospel of Jesus. His journey with God during his illness became a source of inspiration to visitors, many of whom were members of his cell group. They would later share of his optimism, his endearing friendship, his genuine love, his faithfulness to God, church and friends. Many spoke of his practical piety. Some shared that he always interpreted scripture in manner of attesting the goodness of God to him. He was a grateful fellow, testifying always to the faithfulness, grace and providence of God towards him and his family.

At some point in time, Jimmy must have discerned that it was not God's plan that he would receive a miracle healing. God must have gently alerted him that he would die soon. It did not break his faith. He did not intimate this to his family. If he had any complaints he probably admitted them quietly before God, never betraying his belief that God had his best interest at heart.

At the point of realisation that healing will not come, how does one interact with God and live the remainder of one's days? Frankly, I would not know how. All I know is that part of the Christian witness is to value the sanctity of life and the dignity of death.

As friends and relatives we may have to accompany these loved ones onwards in their journey. I greatly admire the pastors and priests who have been called ever so often to take on this journey with the dying.

One such person I found on the internet is Norman Ingram-Smith, who was Director of Saint Martin-in-the-Fields Social Service Unit from 1965 to 1985. He wrote an article, Facing Death.

"When companioning dying people I have always felt, at the moment of death, a going away rather than a snuffing out of life. The first time that I was asked to companion a dying person I spent a great deal of time preparing myself for what I then pictured to be a difficult matter. I thought about my attitude as I was to sit by his bed in that hospital ward. I rehearsed the words, both of my own and of scripture, that I would say to him as together we waited for him to be dead. In the event I found his bed in the ward, pulled up a chair and settled myself ‘to do this thing’ as I saw it. I was still young enough at the time to think that my greatest contribution to any situation was bound to be wrapped in words. I started on this dying man. Barely had I begun when his fleshless hand came from under the bedclothes and he said to me, ‘There’s no need to talk – just holding my hand will do.’ Not very many minutes later, still smiling, he slipped from his body which would now be pronounced as being dead and the essential ‘him’ had crossed, by dying, into whatever state there is for those for whom Jesus conquered death.”

Death is not the worst thing that can happen to us. After all, it is the spirit that gives life - the body is useless without it. Norman Ingram-Smith said, “Christians can only view life and death as parts of a single continuum. To see the process of dying as a sort of cut-off point is to deny the eternal life in which the body and blood of Christ are keeping us, which is the assertion at every communion service.”