'Deep in my heart I say, "The Lord is all I need, I can depend on Him!" The Lord is kind to everyone who trusts and obeys Him. It is good to wait patiently for the Lord to save us.' Lamentations 3:24-26 (CEV)
What if God seems not to answer the deepest requests and prayers of our heart? This week we received the news that despite 6 rounds of chemotherapy followed by a chemical ablation of the bone marrow by chemotherapy and a autologous (own cells) stem cell transplant, the T cell lymphoma persists. Pat is now faced with another round of chemotherapy and an allogenic (donor) stem cell transplant. After 8 months of treatment and prayer petition, Pat is back to square one. She needs to soldier on.
During the treatment, many people from around the world prayed for Pat to be cured of her lymphoma. But this time, it is not to be. Our prayers were not answered by God in the affirmative, in the way we wanted. Such is the will of the Lord. As we submit ourselves to His will, we do not lose hope nor faith and we continue to pray for complete recovery.
What do we do now? We wait on the Lord God, Master of the Universe, Creator of heaven and earth.
'I waited for the Lord' is one of the movement in the Symphony Lobesang (Hymn of Praise) composed by Felix Mendelssohn Bartholdy in 1840. This movement which lasts about 5 mins is scored around just two sentences from Psalms 40:1
I waited for the Lord, He inclined unto me,
He heard my complaint.
O blest are they that hope and trust in Him
If you had the patience to listen to this song to its completion, you would probably have learnt patience just as the Lord has been teaching Pat and I, to wait on Him patiently with persistent prayer. And in that persistency, at times with travails, God has not been absent with us, we have the distinct impression that 'He inclined towards us.'
What lessons did and will we learn?
- God encourages. Everyday, through our Bible reading or through words and prayers of friends and family, God encourages us. One example is
'For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken," says the Lord, who has mercy on you.' Isaiah 54:10 (NLT)
- God's purposes will prevail. We learn while waiting on God and praying that this phrase 'Man proposes, God disposes' is a reality. We pray for specific answers and God will answer according to His purpose
'Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that will prevail' Proverbs 19:21
- God's plan will work. We think and live in the terms of our temporal perspectives but God's time frame is eternal and everlasting. He already has a plan for us and this plan is set for eternity. We are learning at times of seemingly unanswered prayer, the big picture of God's plan for us.
'For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.' Ephesians 2:10
- God's presence soothes. Everyday while we live with uncertainty, God is present with us and that helps to soothe all anxieties.
'Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.' Psalm 23:4
So what happens next? Do we resign to our fates? No, until God's will and purposes is fully revealed, we will keeping on praying and keep on hoping. That is the attitude and direction that Jesus said we could take.
'Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.' Matthew 7:7 (NLT)
Pat will soldier on physically, together we soldier on spiritually along with many friends and family. In that persistent prayer as Jesus advocated, we refresh, renew our relationship with God. A new dawn will appear after the darkest night. 'We are not Alone'
I'm not alone, while walking on life's pathway,
I have a friend who walks along with me;
I'm not alone altho' I'm often lonely,
My Lord divine is by me constantly.
So when the storm and trial assail me,
And earthly friendships fail me,
I'll sing and smile o'er ev'ry mile
Till I reach my heavenly home;
And, so, I, journey on o'er hill and valley
I'm not alone: my Savior walks with me.
Pat and Lionel
