Walk A Mile In My Shoes

Building Bridges

"Love must be sincere... Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:9-11

The ease of connectivity through the Internet has resulted in lesser face to face encounters. Thus, despite the phenomenal improvement in communications technology, people still find themselves isolated, lonely and misunderstood. Virtual conversations do not show endearing, emotional expressions and human communication skills used in conversations, letter writing and telephone calls.  They are  replaced by terse and short sentences over texting and Twitter. Such communications can unintentionally appear harsh and abrupt. Misunderstanding can arise because we do not spend enough time in meaningful, bridge-building conversations. 

One family example, the Lee Family communicates everyday through the WhatsApp three -continents conversations, Singapore, Australia and the United Kingdom. However, when sitting at a table with my grandchildren at their Marlborough home or in a restaurant, I would soon be adrift fiddling with my iPhone. So I decided that in order to get close to any of my three grandchildren, I would walk a mile with them to school every morning whenever I am staying with them in the UK.

Elvis Presley sang a song written in 1969 by Joe South entitled ‘Walk A Mile In My Shoes’ which suggested that true friendships can be built by stepping into each other shoes and seeing each other through the eyes of the other person. That is empathy! 

"If I could be you, if you could be me for just one hour

If we could find a way to get inside each other's mind

If you could see you through my eyes instead your own ego

I believe you'd be surprised to see that you've been blind, Mmm

Walk a mile in my shoes, just walk a mile in my shoes

Before you abuse, criticize and accuse

Then walk a mile in my shoes"

In trying to understand each other, we reveal ourselves and enable a reciprocal reaction. Understanding things, principles and concepts are very different from understanding people. Understanding people is possible only at a very personal and emotive level. The more deeply we understand other people, the more appreciative we are of them. We cannot achieve this by just communicating through the Internet. We need face to face personal interactions. We build bridges.  This is costly; we pay not only with our time and effort but also with our privacy, pride and ego.

Many think that 'walking a mile in my shoes' mean active engagement, doing something with that person. This is not always necessary. Often it is only about being there for and with that person, spending time in silence. I recall spending time with a Christian brother while his newborn son was undergoing surgery for a severe congenital heart condition. I heard of the birth of his son and the rush to surgery. I went to the waiting room, found my friend sitting all alone and just sat with him in near silence for the four over hours of the operation. Only the two of us, in silent prayer for the boy during the surgery.     

That was a true and treasured experience of empathy for a friend. I do not know how encouraged he was but I was ministered to as I spent those hours of silence in his shoes. 

The Bible adds the idea of love among friends, "Be devoted to one another in love".  It then states that "Love must be sincere." Sincere means proceeding from genuine feelings, free from pretense or deceit. It is a deep feeling and from the heart. The Bible asks us to spur one another towards love and good deeds.  

'And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds' Hebrews 10:24a

'So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.'

This rendition of 'You Raise Me Up,' is a one of the best expressions of empathy. 

Let us walk miles in each other shoes!

Lionel

Updated 1st published 15 Dec 2019