No Man Is An Island

Fyfield Down Neolithic Stones

'Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labour: If either of them falls down one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.' Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

A sad commentary of our individual-centric modern living reality is found in the words of Simon and Garfunkel ‘I am a rock. I am a Island’ This song drums in all the loneliness of life without companionship or friendship. The second verse reads,

“I've built up walls, a fortress deep and mighty,

that nothing penetrates.

I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.

It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.

I am a rock, I am an island.”

In Tokyo, a guide informed that there are many homeless people in the city. And it is entirely by personal choice and preference that they desert friends and families to wander the streets alone. They are not poor. They are never hungry because the Japanese strict laws on the validity period of food ensured that they had lots to eat. Food sold in supermarkets had to be discarded immediately, once expired. These people are spoilt for choice as far as food is concerned. They choose to become distant islands in a sea of humanity.

During the lockdown caused by Covid-19, our church decided to house homeless people. We discovered to our dismal surprise that there are many homeless men and women in Singapore!

They preferred to be left alone; pitiful sights of old men and women left to wander alone in crowded cities. In 1969, Ralph McTell wrote the song, "The Streets of London." It was inspired as Mc Tell was basking at the Surrey Street market in Croydon. The song laments the plight of the homeless, lonely and elderly who are largely ignored by society. 

"Have you seen the old man in the closed-down market

Picking up the paper, with his worn out shoes?

In his eyes you see no pride and hands held loosely by his side

Yesterday's paper telling yesterday's news.

So how can you tell me you're lonely, And say for you that the sun don't shine?

Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London

I'll show you something to make you change your mind."

We ask, why this sad state of affairs? The likely answer is that in a modern city, Singapore included, everyone is busy. We are too busy with climbing up the corporate ladder, too busy for anyone. Along with this busyness is a healthy dose of selfishness; too much of worrying of one's self to be concerned with others. 

Remember the song, “The Cat’s in the Cradle?” The son is always asking his dad when is he coming home. The father replies that he will be home soon enough but he does not know when. But when the dad comes home they are going to have a good time together. Unfortunately, this never happens. So tragically when the father finally had the time, the kid had grown up and this time the kid has no time for this dad.

The last verse of the song recorded that the father retired and now has time for his son but the son is too busy.  

I used to think that I would work till I die but when I turned 68, I decided that I will retire. I realised that the desire to keep on working was an ego trip designed to satisfy the feeling of being wanted or important at work. I changed my mind because by that time we had an empty nest at home for several years. I felt that the two of us, Pat and I should be able to spend our remaining years with each other and with people who are dear to us. 

So now we decided to holiday more and visit with our two daughters and their families in Newcastle, Australia and Marlborough, UK. We enjoy the privilege of scenic views, different cultures, different cuisines and understanding different histories. We realised that the world has diminished in size; people and places are not that far away after all. It is good to be able to view life and world together. 

We were ever so busy, growing our marriage, my career and our two daughters. Watching our children through their childhood and formative years was a delight. Before we know it we have been married 45 years now. The time to build a career and raising a family has taken all our attention. Before we grow too old, we should appreciate what we have the love, the companionship and the time for each other.

This was also the insight for King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 4:8-12. Solomon concluded that life on earth was futile. The sad commentary Solomon made was about a rich man who was all alone. No one, no family, no relatives, no friends,

'There was a man all alone; he had either son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?" This too is meaningless- a miserable business!' Ecclesiastes 4:8

Solomon came to the conclusion,

'Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. Also if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves, A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.' Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

In the many places that Pat and I have visited around the world, we view with much pity the lonely lives of old men and women. This is a sad reflection of modern societies that revere individualism and independence and do not value friendships, dependencies and community. 

John Donne, who was left alone and expected to die of bubonic plague wrote in 1623. "No man is an island, entire of itself; Every man is a piece of a continent, a part of the main..." 

Loneliness should not happen in Christian communities. An understanding of the fellowship and interdependencies between men and women was evident in the early church among apostles and believers,

'They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.' Acts 2:42. 

Appreciating neighbourliness and friendships is a counterpoise to the proud and boastful, "I am a rock, I am an island." Better the old Swedish saying, 'Shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow.'      

·    Lionel

Updated 1st published 12 Jul 2008

Church Under Construction

Sagrada Familia (credit Edith Frost)

"...and on this rock, I will build my church, and the gates of Hell will not overcome it" Matthew 16:18

There is a church in Barcelona, the Sagrada Familia, the building of which started in 1894 but has remained under construction to date. As one can imagine it has become a tourist attraction. The architect is Antonin Gaudi and Barcelona has several iconic buildings designed by him. When asked why the project is taking so long to complete, Gaudi famously replied, "The patron of this project is not in a hurry".

Pat and Lionel at the Sagrada Familia (2001)

The Sagrada Familia is a grand and imposing structure with lots of promises but it still remains incomplete. In the same vein, the church of God remains under construction. Its members, we Christians are described as living stones, laid brick by brick and cemented to one another, to slowly but surely build God's house.

If this is so, it seems rather strange that Christians are often judgemental about their local churches. Instead of realising that these local churches are still work in progress, some Christians are so dissatisfied with their congregations that they would leave the local church. We are all sinners saved by the grace of Jesus Christ. If the church is made up of people like us, then surely it must be naïve to expect perfection.

So why are Christians often intolerant of their local churches? How often have we broken away from the congregation to move on to seemingly better churches, where there should be better worship, better fellowship, better teaching, better pastors, better leaders, better ministries only to find after a few months in the new church, that the same old church problems resurface?

Sometimes we are led to believe that the New Testament churches were perfect congregations but we have the New Testament letters precisely because these churches were imperfect and required corrections and rebukes. The Galatians were wrong on a basic point of doctrine. The Philippians were suffering from disunity. The Colossian church was suffering from a group within the church who regarded themselves as better than everybody else. Corinth had problems of immorality, of factionalism and unsound doctrine. Martin Luther once said; “The face of the church is the face of the sinner”.

In 2020 and 2021, my church, Charis Methodist Church is experiencing the physical inconvenience of rebuilding a new church sanctuary. Like buildings under construction it looks a terrible mess with all the dust and dirt, chaos and confusion. We are glad to find temporary premises to worship in; the Living Hope Methodist Church lending us their premises in the afternoon.  What worries me is that many of our church members will leave the Charis community to go to worship at more conveniently located churches. This will soon be an excuse to leave the church permanently.

Undeniably, our Charis church community (Koinonia) remains incomplete and imperfect; so are many churches too. Instead let us learn to accommodate and even forgive one another for any wrong doings done to each other.

The children in singing the song 'Kids under Construction' by Gaither and Paxton can tell the adults a thing or two

Kids under construction

Maybe the paint is still wet

Kids under construction

The Lord may not be finished

We're more than just accidents without the cause;

We're more than just bodies and brains.

God made us on purpose; we're part of a plan

He cares and knows us by name

Dear Jesus, please make me more patient and kind

And help us to be more like You.

And make room for all other children of Yours

For they are still growing too

So let us realise that Charis Methodist Church, the building and the people within are all still under construction. God has not finished with us yet. Then let us be grateful for God's patience with us, 'our patron who is not in a hurry.'

Lionel