To appreciate life

 

Forest Floors Can Be Interesting 

Recently, a close girlfriend of mine emailed me to ask me to pray for her. She is expecting a child and was told that she would have to undergo special investigations to test for genetic disorders, one of which is Down’s syndrome.

To her horror, her husband and parents-in-law suggested that if the child was diagnosed with Down’s syndrome or any other similar congenital problem, they wanted her to undergo an abortion. Fortunately, God answered our prayers and the tests were negative – the baby is likely to be normal. When John and I were discussing my friend’s case, we came up with the following options for what could happen if the child was abnormal: Option 1: Abort it (not a good option if mother unwilling) Option 2: Keep it and raise it (not an option if family unwilling) Option 3: Keep it and put it up for adoption. Now, I don’t want to discuss the ethics of abortion or genetic testing in this post. My concern is my attitude to people born with a handicap. My initial reaction to Option 3 was that it was not a true option because nobody would want to adopt a handicapped child. This led me to ask myself the following questions: 1. Why wouldn’t anyone want to adopt a handicapped child?

Expectant Parents will never expect their child to be handicapped – they hope and pray for a whole, healthy baby. Adoptive Parents get to pick their child. Knowing that raising an adopted child is a difficult enough process, it is unlikely that a handicapped child (who is far more stressful and more expensive to look after) would be preferred over a healthy child. 2. Am I really saying that I would not want to adopt a handicapped child?

Yes, I am. 3. Why is this so?

John and I are young and at the stage where having a kid is feasible – if God chose to give us a handicapped child, then we would accept this as God’s will for us. However, I cannot see myself going out of my way to adopt such a child. 4. Does this make me a selfish person?

Maybe. At this stage, I was starting to get quite upset with myself. However, John pointed out to me that choosing a child to adopt is not a rational process. People who are adopting a child have already made a life-changing decision and are prepared for the challenges that lie ahead. They are not using mere logic to make their selection. Thus, they may decide to adopt a handicapped child, because God has laid it on their hearts to do so.

In fact, if one really thinks about it, all children come into the world with their own set of inbuilt limitations. A child who is born physically perfect can still have learning difficulties or even mental and psychological problems like autism or schizophrenia. Children can even suffer from debilitating chronic health issues such as epilepsy, diabetes or asthma. Yet these children are not unwanted before birth and they are not at risk of being destroyed whilst still in the womb. The Down’s syndrome infant has the advantage of predictable physical and mental restrictions yet many parents will choose a therapeutic abortion.

A person who has chosen to adopt a handicapped child has the ability to see people for more than their physical or mental limitations. That is, they can see through the imperfections of the flesh, they can appreciate a person because of who they are. This is different from appreciating a person despite of who they are.

My attitude towards handicapped people stems from the fact that I have difficulty seeing past their physical flaws. As a doctor, I am trained to locate what is defective in a person and seek to correct or minimise it.

However, as a Christian, I should also seek to see people the way God would see them – equal human beings deserving of love. After all, God loves each of his children so much that He chose to die for them. I should appreciate them. I should appreciate life.

Debbie Lee