Was blind but now I see

'For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God.' Ephesians 2:8 

The hymn 'Amazing Grace' was the signature tune of the Evangelical Movement in the UK in the 1700s and is still very popular among Christians today. The romantic notion about its writer John Newton, was that he turned from being a captain of a slave ship to a minister of the Gospel after he was converted to Christianity. 

However, I discovered having read the book 'The Trader, the Owner, the Slave' by James Walvin (Ref 1) that this was not quite the whole  truth. In Part 1 of this book Walvin wrote of John Newton, as a slave trader, then a preacher, a hymn writer and finally an abolitionist not sequentially but concurrently. He had cut his sea-legs working in the Atlantic Slave business plying between the shores of Sierra Leone to the Caribbean islands and passing though the port of Liverpool. He became a Christian after escaping a shipwreck and was a pious Christian with an interest in theology but he continued to engage in the slave trade eventually becoming a slave ship's captain. Christians at that time probably saw nothing wrong with slavery.  

Walvin wrote, “Everyone involved in the world of Atlantic slavery, from the captains of the ships through to slave owners in America and the British-based shippers – all of them measured in their thousands, were lured by the hope of profit." But few of them seemed to have any moral or religious qualms about what they were doing. That it wreaked misery on an epic scale for untold millions barely registered among people like Newton who profited from such a business. He would discharged his human cargo, made a handsome profit, then proceeded to discuss God’s word in his cabin and stepped ashore without a scruple.

However, years later, Newton did repent. He regretted and recanted of his past and wrote Amazing Grace, a hymn of repentance, confession and testimony of a life once lost but saved by the grace of God. 

'Amazing grace

How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost

But now I'm found

Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught

My heart to fear

And grace my fears relieved

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers

Toil and snares

I have already come

'Twas grace hath brought me 

Safe thus far

And grace will lead me home

When we've been there

Ten thousand years

Bright shining as the sun

We'll have no less days

To sing God's praise

Than when we first begun'

In the 1780s, slavery had become a political issue in England. William Wilberforce having been acquainted with him sought his counsel but Newton still maintained his silence on the issue. Finally, Wilberforce persuaded him to take a public stand. In 1788, John Newton published his 'Thoughts upon the African Slave Trade' and explained, “I am bound in conscience to take shame to myself by a public confession, which, however sincere, comes too late to prevent or repair the misery and mischief to which I have, formally been an accessory.”  After this, his sermons followed the theme of “Amazing Grace”. They were laced with anecdotes of his past life and sins but with much remorse. 

Since then Christians have lived through Hitler’s Germany, the Rwandan massacre and many other such tragedies, oblivious to injustices done to their fellow men and sometimes even perpetrating them. Our Christian conscience can be blind-sighted, our behaviour laced with 'holier than thou' attitudes and our minds prepared to rationalise evil intentions. The heart can be deceitful and desperately wicked.

We can repent. The Bible in Acts 3:19 states 'Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.' No matter what he had done, there was reconciliation and final resolution between John Newton and his God. The same is true for us no matter how ugly or bad we think our sins are. Amazing Grace. 

Philip Yancey wrote a book 'What is so Amazing about Grace.' The grace of God, Yancey wrote, separates the sinner from the sin, grace does not excuse sin but it treasures the sinner. 

For Charles Wesley the hymn writer, grace became the background music of his life. He wrote

"Long my imprisoned spirit lay

fast bound in sin and nature's night

Thine eye diffused a quickening ray.

I woke. My dungeon flamed with light.

My chains fell off, my heart was free

I rose went forth and followed Thee."  

 

Newton's tombstone reads, "John Newton, Clerk, once an infidel and libertine, a servant of slaves in Africa, was, by the rich mercy of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, preserved, restored, pardoned, and appointed to preach the faith he had long labored to destroy."  Truly amazing

Lionel

Ref 1: James Walvin, The Trader, the Owner, the Slave. Random House 2007

First published 12 August 2007.  

Out Of The Miry Clay

 

Out of the Miry Clay

"He brought me up up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock and established my goings." Psalms 40:2

Emil Brunner wrote that we are stuck so fast in the mire that we cannot help ourselves. We are all sinners in a wrong relationship with God and hence with our neighbours also. We are seeking ourselves. We wish to appear clever and to attain the highest by means of our own intrinsic powers. In our inmost being we have each gone astray. We are godless, loveless, self seeking, God-escaping. (Ref 1)

He is right. The Bible states in Romans 3, 'For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.' In the Old Testament, Isaiah said, "We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way." (Isaiah 53:6a).

We are sinking in quicksand, the more we think we are in control of our lives, the more messy it becomes and in the clay pits we sink deeper. Fortunately, I learned the lesson of letting go and letting God early in medical school. When going through a period of examination failure, a classmate shared with me this verse from Psalms 40:2. She shared that when going through difficult times, God is there to set me right, to lift me out of the miry clay. 

Subsequently I learned a follow-on lesson from Psalm 37:23-24, 'The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand.' In the struggle of life, it is not I who need to grab and cling to the hand of God, instead, God's hand lifts me up.

This truth of not being afraid to lose your life rang true in the testimony of martyred missionary Jim Elliot. Elliot and four other missionaries, Ed McCully, Roger Youderian, Pete Fleming and Nate Saint attempted to bring the gospel to the Huaorani Indians in South America but were slaughtered by 10 Indian warriors on 8 January 1956. His biography was written by wife, Elisabeth Elliot and published under the title 'Shadow of the Almighty.' (Ref 2). In a journal entry on 28 October, 1949, Jim Elliot penned these words, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

In similar fashion, Jesus said "Whoever finds his life shall lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matt 10:39), Jesus meant that we must learn to lose control of our lives and hand it over to Him. We must not make ourselves and our survival the only point of our lives. If like the poet Henley we think, 'I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my destiny' we will find that instead of being in control, we will be at the mercy of forces beyond our control. We will sink deeper into the quagmire. Be like Saint Francis of Assisi who concluded, "It is in dying that we are born to eternal life." It is the same proposition as 'Let Go and Let God.'

More than just lifting us out of the miry clay, the Bible informs that something good will come out of our lives.  My Christian friends, Kenneth and Huiwen are a husband and wife, team who founded Studio Asobi. Their works of art are inspirational. Huiwen wrote, "Making something out of clay, which is essentially worthless dust, and transforming it into something of value gives us a sense of responsibility." if we learn to surrender like useless lumps of clay to the potter, then something of value and worth will be the product.

Let God the potter do His work and shape our lives. He will fashion something of worth and beauty as we pray 'Change My Heart Oh God.' Isaiah said, "Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." Isaiah 64:8.

Lionel     

Ref 1: Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter. Plough Publishing House 2003.

Ref 2: Elizabeth Elliot. Shadow of the Almighty, The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot, Harper Collins

He Touched Me

'For God so loved the World that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.'John 3:16 

He Touched Me. The first time I heard this song was in 1982, twenty years after it was first written. I was sitting on the floor of the Preservation Hall in New Orleans, Louisiana. This is a very famous place to listen to Jazz music for free, a small crowded shop house near Bourbon Street where jazz musicians would gather each night to play. A tall bearded Negro stood up and with his banjo played this song. I sat there enrapt by its plain lyrics and simple rhythm. It became my favourite Christian song. 

This is a song about salvation. Salvation is the greatest event in the Christian life; it marks the start of it. I was saved in 1967. I distinctly remembered that day after school, I attended a Youth for Christ meeting at Wesley Methodist Church. I had been searching for a belief in a God whom I could relate to. Before this time I had either been exposed to ancestral worship at home or brought in front of idols in Chinese temples. I did not find any meaning in that kind of worship or belief. 

At the end of the YFC meeting, a person named Charlie Tan whom I have not met again since, introduced me to Jesus Christ, telling me that through Christ, I can be saved from my sins. More importantly, I could be restored into a rightful relationship with Christ. That day, I accepted Christ as my personal Saviour and have not looked back since; for the rest of my life, which is now going on towards 70 years and beyond. That day Jesus touched me. 

I did not know it then but this song, He Touched Me, encapsulates the experience of my Christian life:

Shackled by a heavy burden,

'Neath a load of guilt and shame.

Then the hand of Jesus touched me,

And now I am no longer the same.

He touched me, Oh He touched me,

And oh the joy that floods my soul!

Something happened and now I know,

He touched me and made me whole.

Since I met this blessed Saviour,

Since He cleansed and made me whole,

I will never cease to praise Him,

I'll shout it while eternity rolls.

He touched me.......

The touch of Jesus put me on the path of developing a relationship with God. Up to that time, original sin and my own sins got me shackled and imprisoned. Oscar Wilde (Ref 1) wrote: 

... And thus we rust Life's iron chain

Degraded and alone:

And some men cursed and some men weep,

And some men make no moan

But God's eternal Laws are kind

And breaks the heart of stone.

And every human heart that breaks,

In prison cell or yard,

Is as that broken box that gave

Its treasure to the Lord,

And filled the unclean leper's house

With the scent of the costliest nard.

Ah! happy those whose hearts can break

And peace of pardon win!

How else may man make straight his plan

And cleanse his soul from Sin?

How else but through a broken heart

May Lord Christ enter in?

We speak of the salvation we received as a touch from the Lord but we should not presume that it was so simple nor cheap. Salvation is free to us but it is costly to God. It costs God his only begotten Son.

The late Rev Billy Graham was the most effective evangelist that ever lived. He preached salvation. But he did not make it sound easy even though miracles happen when he gave the invitation to receive Christ as millions came forward. He preached God's plan for all of us to be saved and pointed out what needed to happen:

1. All are sinners and stand under the judgement of God. 'For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.' Romans 3:23. Graham said that we might believe that we are good enough to win God's favour or that we can perform certain religious acts to counterbalance our bad deeds but 'There is no one righteous, not even one.' Romans 3:10

2. We need to understand what Christ has done to make our salvation possible. Christ died on the cross as the complete sacrifice for our sins. He took upon Himself the judgement that we deserve.

3. We must repent of our sins. Graham said repentance carries with it the idea of confession, sorrow, turning and changing, God's gift of eternal life becomes ours only when we take it. We must turn from our practice of sin as best we know how and turn by faith to Christ.

4. There is a cost of coming to Christ and following Christ. A person must determine to leave his sins behind and turn from them. Jesus declared, "if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23. Graham preached, it costs to follow Christ but it also costs not to follow Christ.

5. Salvation is intimately linked to the cross. Graham asked, "Why was Calvary's cross so special, so different from hundreds of other crosses used for Roman execution?" It was because on that cross, Jesus suffered the punishment for sin that we all deserve. He was our Substitute. He suffered the judgment and condemnation of death that our sinful nature and deeds rightfully deserve.

6. Faith is essential for salvation. We must be absolutely clear on what we mean when we speak of 'salvation by faith.' Faith means more than intellectual belief. It involves trust and commitment in which we commit our lives to Jesus and trust Him alone as our Saviour and Lord.

After Billy Graham preached millions came forward singing the song, 'Just as I am' which means asking Jesus to receive them, heal them of their sins and lead them to everlasting life. Perhaps many were just overcame by the emotions of the moment but many others knew not only in their minds but in their hearts and spirits what they were doing. They were determining their fates from that day forward. That was when Jesus touched our lives and we never looked back since. 

Lionel

Ref 1: Oscar Wilde, The Ballad of Reading Gaol. 1868

Let Everything That Has Breath Praise The Lord

'The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.' Psalms 19:1

No one can ever look at the beautiful sunset and not recognise the God behind that beauty. Yes beautiful scenes in nature often causes us to be uplifted and praise God who is the Creator. This realisation, this moment of inspiration can be so breathtaking that it can bring tears to our eyes!

The Hebrew word, Kavod which is translated as glory, splendour or beauty actually means rich or heavy. The Jews would say a rich man is 'heavy with wealth' in the same way we might say a rich man is 'loaded.' The idea behind kavod is that when we experience God's glory, we are experiencing the weight of His goodness, the weight of His beauty, the weight of His mercy and the weight of His compassion. A beautiful sunset at a beach is an example of the richness of God's beauty. Ref 1

I love to travel and experience, firsthand, the wonders of the earth, the beauty of God's creation and feel an affinity to them. These are moments of closeness to God, a recognition that behind the spectacular field of daffodils is God's handiwork. William Wordsworth recognised this sublime and creative presence when he wrote:

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine

And twinkle on the milky way,

They stretched in never-ending line

Along the margin of a bay:

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they

Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:

A poet could not but be gay,

In such a jocund company:

I gazed—and gazed—but little thought

What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.

Nature is a gift. Nature informs us who we are, the more we appreciate God's creation the more we will know ourselves. We become aware of the preciousness of life. Look At The World, a song composed by John Rutter celebrates this:

Look at the World: Everything all around us

Look at the world: and marvel everyday

Look at the world: So many joys and wonders

So many miracles along our way

Praise to the O Lord for all creation

Give us thankful hearts that we may see

All the gifts we share and every blessing

All things come of Thee

This realisation that God gives us the beauty of His creations invokes a emotional drive to praise and Christians surely love to praise. In recent years the Praise Worship as taken a life of its own; driving up the Christian music industry. But engaging in praise is not new,  in 1221, St Francis of Assisi wrote this canticle:

All creatures of our God and King,

Lift up your voice and with us sing,

Alleluia! Alleluia!

Praise, praise the Father, praise the Son,

And praise the Spirit, Three in One!

In 18th Century England, William Wilberforce wrote, "When engaged in worship, our souls seemed to become ignited with rapture" (Ref 2). It's spontaneous and often happens when we perceive a wonder of nature and then we can emphatically state, "Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord!"

Lionel

Ref 1: Dave Adamson. 52 Hebrew Words, Every Christian Should Know. Christian Arts Gift

Ref 2: William Wilberforce. Real Christianity, 1797 revised and updated by Dob Beltz Regal Books 2006. 

The Prayer Habit

'Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed.' Mark 1:35

I used to find difficulty praying. My mind can never be still on a single topic for any sufficient length of time. I think too many thoughts at one time. Soon after I have settled on a prayer item, my mind would begin to wander. I have struggled with this disability for many years.

I used to watch my late father-in-law, the Rev Kao Jih Eng pray. He was a very active Chinese pastor for more than 40 years. He made for himself a ‘kneeling’ platform on which was attached a reading stand with a cross. Under this stand was a shelf holding 2 compartments. He would place cards with prayer petitions from his parishioners in one compartment. As he prayed through each item he transferred these cards into the other compartment and back again. He woke up early every morning to pray.

I read about St Theresa of Avila for whom prayer is the journey of the mind into the depths of the soul. She described prayer as moving from one room into another in one's spirit. Then, in the innermost sanctum of one’s being, one finds God and ecstasy.

In the heydays of the Charismatic movement, I would practise praying in tongues. Since my mind always strayed, why not just pray in tongues? I need not focus. Perhaps like St Teresa, I could still achieve the soul-satisfaction she described. But, there was a lingering worry that all I was seeking was some form of self-gratification and was not really communicating with God. 

Finally, I reckoned to live every moment and dedicate every day as a prayer to God. Just live through the day and when a petition, a thought, a praise comes to mind just whisper to the Lord, a word of thanks or a quick petition.

Here is an example of a prayerful moment. Whilst walking down a busy street one day, out of the blue, a song which I had not sung for more than 30 over years came to mind. It’s a composition from Sister Soeur Sourire, the Singing Nun and it is called 'It’s A Miracle.'

How I love to go for a walk along the street,

And to say, "Hello" to the people that I meet, 

And to watch the show of their happy, happy feet, 

And I say to myself, It's a miracle. 

Hal-le-lu, Hal-le-lu-ia! I sing as I walk along, 

Hal-le-lu, Hal-le-lu-ia, God gave me such a happy song.

Can’t you feel his love and joy in everything

In the wonder of the sparrow on the wind

In the sky above and the song that I now sing

And I say to myself it’s a miracle

Hal-le-lu, Hal-le-lu-ia! I sing as I walk along, 

Hal-le-lu, Hal-le-lu-ia, God gave me such a happy song.

In the joy of his love and the sky up above and the song that I sing

It’s a miracle.

I could not stop humming and singing the tune. So I sang it as a prayer to God and a prayer for all the people I was passing by. This is making prayer ubiquitous, praying all through the day, this is Continuous Prayer.

Henri Nouwen taught me another way to pray, "Listen to your heart. Praying is first and foremost listening to Jesus who dwells in the very depths of your heart. He doesn't shout. he doesn't thrust himself upon you, His voice is an unassuming voice, very nearly a whisper, the voice of a gentle love... This listening must be an active and very attentive listening, for in our restless and noisy world God's loving voice is easily drowned out. You need to set aside some time everyday for this active listening to God if only for ten minutes. 

You'll find it not easy to be still for ten minutes at a time. You'll discover straightaway that many voices, voices that are very noisy and distracting, voices that do not come from God, demand your attention. But if you stick to your daily prayer time, then slowly but surely you will come to hear the gentle voice of love and will long more and more to listen to it." Ref 1

This is Contemplative Prayer. So instead of trying to spend an hour in prayer, it might be better for me to spend short times of 10 minutes to find the place where God is, empty my thoughts and let God fill my mind. I used to think that contemplative prayer is some highly spiritual activity reserved for hermits and the Desert Fathers but difficult for the average person. It is something unachievable by people who are easily distracted. I no longer think this way. The discipline of contemplative prayer is particularly good for people who are busy, people who have many things on their plate so much so that it is good for them to get away for brief moments with the Lord. The Don Moen song 'I Just Want To Be Where You Are ' aptly describe this desire. 

Then there is Community Prayer, Henri Nouwen said, "Prayer is the language of the Christian community. In prayer the nature of the community becomes visible because the prayer we direct ourselves to the One who forms the community. We do not pray to each other but together we pray to God, who calls us and makes us a new people. By prayer, community is created as well as expressed."

When we pray in groups, we bind ourselves together. We learn that prayer is a most precious expression of our individual faiths so it needs the constant nurturing and support of the community. Jesus said

 

"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree on anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there I am in the midst of them." 

Matthew:18: 19-20 

Lionel

Ref 1: Henri Nouwen. You Are The Beloved. Daily Meditations for Spiritual Living. Hodder & Stoughton, 2017

First Published in May 2007