Why Do Fools Fall In Love?

"Those who loved me," Jesus says, "will be loved by my father, and I too will love them" John 14:21

In 1956, a song "Why Do Fools Fall in Love" reached No 1 on the R&B charts and was acclaimed to be one of the records that defined the new and rising genre of rock and roll. It was written and recorded by a group Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers and helped to make Frankie Lymon a rock and roll pioneer. Frankie was only thirteen years old when the song became a hit. 

 

“Love is a losing game

Love can be a shame

I know of a fool you see, for that fool is me

Tell me why, tell my why?

Why do fools fall in love

Why do birds sing so gay?

And lovers await the break of day

Why do they fall in love?”

 

The song proved to be a self fulfilling prophecy for Frankie Lymon. After the success, Lymon started a solo singing career but it all fell apart. Lymon's career was over by the time he was eighteen years old, and he died of a heroin overdose seven years later. He was unable to develop any meaningful relationships with women.

One could well have asked the same question, “Why do fools fall in love” of the marriage between the prophet Hosea and his wife, Gomer. In Hosea 1:2 it is recorded “The LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her.”

 

It was a strange command; a strange relationship developed. Time and time again Gomer, Hosea’s wife, would prove unfaithful to him and repeatedly, Hosea would reconcile with her. Hosea 3:1 recorded “The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulterer. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”

 

Why? The love-relationship between Hosea and his unfaithful wife, Gomer would be the showcase of God’s relationship with His people. Despite the unfaithfulness of God’s people, the Israelites, who would time and time again turned to other gods, God’s forgiving love continually forgave and restored the special covenant between God and His people. Hosea's love mirrored God's redeeming love for the Israelites and for Christians.

 

Recently, Michael Card composed “The Song of Gomer”; the first verse and chorus read:

“Don't know what he sees in me

He is spirit, he is free

And I, the wife of adultery

Gomer is my name.

Simply more than I can see

How he keeps on forgiving me;

How he keeps his sanity

Hosea, you're a fool.

Chorus: 

A fool to love someone like me, 

A fool to suffer silently;

Though sometimes through your eyes I see

I'd rather be a fool.”

There is a sharp contrast between Michael’s song compared with Frankie’s. Michael’s song speaks of a true and faithful love, Frankie’s song spoke of fleeting romance.

Love is all about relationship. As Christians, we are blessed; we enjoy an enduring relationship with God. This began when we received our salvation in Christ and this love grows as our relationship with Christ matures. Even then we often fail God; our love for God fickle, failing and fleeting. Yet, God’s love for us is forthright, faithful and forever. It forms the basis of our enduring walk with God.

We are loved by God and we belong to Him. Henri Nouwen wrote, "God says to you, "I have called you from all eternity and you are engraved from all eternity in the palms of My hands. You are Mine. You belong to Me and I love you with an everlasting love." (Ref 1) 

Lionel

Ref 1: Henri Nouwen, You Are the Beloved, Daily Meditations For Spiritual Living. Hodder & Stoughton 2017

Adapted from a sermon given by Rev(Dr) Andrew Peh on the 23 Sep 2012

Updated from a previous article dated 10 Nov 2012

 

A Many Splendoured Thing

 

'Who shall separate us from the Love of Christ?' Romans 8:35a

Christians usually describe four types of love:

• Affection (storge,). A fondness between family members or people who have found themselves in a relationship.

• Friendship (phileo). A strong bond between people who share common interest or activity.

• Attraction (eros). Romantic love.

• Charity (agape) - Unconditional love.

Unfortunately when we look at love in this way, love becomes cold and expressionless. We reduce love from a powerful emotion and attribute to an intellectual concept. Instead, when we experience love, it is a wonderful and overflowing feeling. It's exhilarating! 

Therefore, I prefer to look at love as in the song 'Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing' based an a romantic novel by Han Suyin:

Love is a many-splendoured thing,

It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring,

Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living,

The golden crown that makes a man a king.

Once on a high and windy hill,

In the morning mist two lovers kissed

and the world stood still,

Then your fingers touched my silent heart

and taught it how to sing,

Yes, true love's a many-splendoured thing.

To help us experience and appreciate this kind of love, the Bible teaches us to love sincerely and absolutely, that is, to “Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it” (Romans 12:9 The Message).

The 17th Century French Bishop Francois Fénelon, (Ref 1) wrote, "I live on love. Love does everything within me. It is only out of love that I was created. And it is only inasmuch as I love, that I do what God intended to do by creating me”. Fénelon knew that to be loved and to love is the deepest yearning of the human spirit. He also knew that love must be everything to a person, in order to give and receive love unconditionally. 

Hence, Saint Paul, in 1 Cor 13:4-8, described love unabashedly, 

"Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonour others,it is not self-seeking,

It is not self-seeking, its is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails." 

We all want to have somebody love us truly. God has given us the grace and ability to give and receive such a love. He loves us so that by His example, we can also love another. Love is at the centre of every Christian inter-relationship. It does not matter what kind of love, romantic, filial or agape; just love sincerely, absolutely and unconditionally and we will be living out God’s will and intention for us.

Jesus said, “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. As I have loved you, you should also love one another” (John 13:34).


Lionel

Ref 1. R J Edmonson and R M Helms The Complete Fenelon Paraclete Press, 2008. pp 238-240

Post previously November 2010

Love Changes Everything

'Love never fails.' 1 Cor 13:8

On 20 Jan 2011, as any first-time tourists to Northern India would, Pat and I made the customary visit to the Taj Mahal. It is the most beautiful building we have ever seen. The Taj Mahal certainly lives up to its name and reputation as the "crown of buildings”. It has a simplistic, symmetrical, white, pristine and feminine beauty which will fix the eye and drop the jaw of any observer. I stood in awe of it and celebrated the artistic imagination and creative inspiration of the human race.

This pure beauty aptly and eternally celebrates what must have been a stunning beauty of a woman, Mumtaz Mahal, to whose memory this mausoleum was built. Mumtaz Mahal, meaning 'jewel of the palace', was the third wife of the Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan. So enthralling was her beauty that Shah Jahan fell in love with her at first sight at the age of fourteen. They were married five years later and she became his inseparable companion till her death after giving birth to her fourteenth child. It is said that Shah Jahan was so heartbroken that he ordered the court into mourning for two years.

Some time after her death, Shah Jahan undertook the task of erecting the world's most beautiful monument in the memory of his beloved. Construction took 22 years from 1632 to 1653, employing thousands of artisans and craftsmen and in its building, almost bankrupting the coffers of the rich and mighty Mughal Empire. It also cost Shah Jahan his kingdom. When the building was completed, his son confined him to house arrest and usurped his throne in an effort to stop the blatant expenditure and save the economy of the country.

The Taj Mahal stands today as a symbol to love and romance. For Shah Jahan, “Love Changes Everything”

Love, love changes everything:

Hands and faces, earth and sky,

Love, love changes everything:

How you live and how you die.

Love can make the summer fly,

Or a night seem like a lifetime.

Yes, Love, love changes everything:

Now I tremble at your name.

Nothing in the world will ever be the same

(click on title to hear a Michael Ball’s rendition of this song on YouTube).

One thing love changes is fear. Henri Nouwen stated, "Fear makes us run away from each other or cling to each other but does not create true intimacy. Fear makes us move away from each other to a safe distance. But laying our hearts totally open to God leads us to a love of ourselves that enables us to give whole-hearted love to our fellow human beings. In the house of God's love we come to see with new eyes and hear with new ears and thus recognise all people, whatever their race, religion, sex, wealth, intelligence or background, belong to the same house. God's house has no dividing walls or closed doors" (Ref 1).

We are afraid to commit. We are afraid of the 'Taj Mahal' brand of love. Ravi Zacharias wrote  “Love is a commitment that will be tested in the most vulnerable areas of spirituality, a commitment that will force you to make some very difficult choices. It is a commitment that demands that you deal with your lust, your greed, your pride, your power, your desire to control, your temper, your patience, and every area of temptation that the Bible clearly talks about. It demands the quality of commitment that Jesus demonstrates in His relationship to us.”  

Yet, Jesus Christ expects all Christians to aspire to the highest aspect of love - Agape or unconditional and sacrificial love. In John 15:12-13 Jesus said “This is my command: Love one another the way I love you. This is the best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friend." By these words Jesus shows how far love to another should extend, even to the laying down of our lives for our friends and neighbours.  

Lionel

Ref 1: Henri Nouwen, You are the Beloved. Daily Meditation for Spiritual Living. Hodder and Stoughtom, 2017

Where There Is Injury, Let Me Sow Pardon

'The Lord bless you and keep you; 

the Lord make His face to shine on you 

and be gracious unto you

The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.' Numbers 6:24-26

Our Bible discussion group was sharing a chapter from Kent Nerburn’s book (Ref 1), “Make Me An Instrument Of Your Peace", when Low Li Eng commented that in asking to sow pardon where there is injury, St Francis was dealing not with the principle but with the pain.

Li Eng understood that healing starts by managing the pain not by settling on principles or fairness. This was brilliantly demonstrated by Nelson Mandela who on being the first black President of South Africa, established the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission. 

South Africa was a brutally repressive state where a minority of four million whites ruled a majority population of over 20 million nonwhites in a segregationist, racist apartheid regime. There was widespread discrimination, racially motivated murders and beatings. It was unbearable. 

Soon it became clear that such a repressive  regime could not sustain itself. The white apartheid government had to turn over the country to the black majority. When that happened, many speculated that an unprecedented bloodbath of vengeance and retribution would ensue. Just elected president, Mandela was more than aware that his nation was a hotbed for revenge-seeking racism following the abandonment of apartheid. It was a earth-shaking challenge.

No bloodbath ensued when the power in South Africa was handed over from a white regime to the blacks of the country. Instead, South Africa managed a remarkable and relatively peaceful transition to democracy and majority rule. With Nobel Peace Prize winner Bishop Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela organised the Commission in 1995 to help South Africa work through the scars of an entire country and people. Its goal was to provide, on a national scale, an effective and productive way to allow blacks who had been mistreated or subjected to violence to seek justice without revenge. In an unprecedented gesture of national forgiveness, the Commission would also allow perpetrators of racially motivated crimes to seek amnesty from the government in return for testimony.

The commission was not vengeful or retaliatory. By giving those accused of racially motivated crimes opportunities to apply for amnesty, the South African government showed that being reasonable and forgiving to a degree could be beneficial. Revenge will simply perpetuate the hate and undermine any real chance for peace and advancement. 

Many who were maligned, offended or betrayed would ask for justice. After retribution, perhaps they could generously offer pardon. Instead St Francis knew that there is something even more painful than injustice and that injury needs healing. St Francis asked us to “sow pardon.” Kent Nerburn wrote, “Sowing does not imply that something is fully grown, only that the seeds of possibility have been planted.”

This act of sowing pardon was well illustrated in the movie 'Invictus' which was released in Dec 2009. (Click on the title to watch a trailer of the film.) Invictus is the amazing true story of how Nelson Mandela (played by Morgan Freeman) joined up with the captain of South Africa's rugby team, Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon) in an effort to use the game to unite their country. Mandela loved rugby but the South African rugby team, the Springboks, was one of the worst national teams. Because of apartheid many nations had boycotted playing with the Springboks, so the standard of rugby deteriorated. Furthermore, the nation's majority blacks favoured soccer, not rugby. The Springboks team was viewed contemptuously by the blacks as a remnant of the hated apartheid. Over fierce resistance, the rebuilding of the team with both blacks and whites players began, with a distinct eye toward the World Cup final. They won the finals that year and Mandela's mixed Springboks team came to terms with South Africa as a fully integrated state. There was healing.

Nelson Mandella was famous as a man who forgave the enemies who had jailed him. How far was forgiveness special to Mandela? Graca Machel wrote of Mandela, "He symbolises a much broader forgiveness and understanding and reaching out. If he had come out of prison and sent a different message, I can tell you this country could be in flames." There is another forgiving act that is even more astounding, the forgiveness of Jesus on the cross, "Father forgive them that for they do not know what they are doing" Luke 23:24.

South Africa pioneered an approach that exemplified the Christian invocation, 'Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us.' The Afrikaner Whites were to confess and the African Blacks to forgive. A simple equation Confession + Forgiveness = Reconciliation brought a peaceful transition of power.  

We continue to search for peace today. When we look at the protests and violence over racial injustice and the divide between left and right political views in many cities in the USA today, it seems almost impossible to achieve any kind of peaceful resolution. In fact some are even talking of a kind of civil war and the breaking up of the United States. They should know that peace is a byproduct of forgiveness. 

Christians are taught by Jesus to forgive. Peter asked Jesus "Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me. Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times but seventy-seven times" Matthew 18:21-22. When we can learn to sow pardon, we will enjoy the Aaronic Blessing, 'The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.'

    

Lionel

Ref 1: Kent Nerburn, 'Make Me An Instrument Of Your Peace' HarperCollins, 1999

Peace That Breaks Down Every Wall.

Great Wave off Kanagawa

'For He himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility.' Ephesians 2:14

Most of us can instantly recognise the Japanese woodblock print, Katsushika Hokusai's 'The Great Wave off Kanagawa.' The raging tide and high waves in the forefront confront the viewer. Yet set in the background is the peace and tranquility of Mount Fiji, Japan's revered mountain. One art critic states that this wood-print 'gracefully distills the power of the ocean.' The serenity of a perfectly symmetrical, pristine snow capped Mount Fuji, calms the oceanic forces. 

These are very turbulent times. The Covid-19 pandemic caused severe disruptions to life and stability. The images of community protests and riots in the USA disturb the soul. There is fierce anger against racial discrimination, may be rightly so, but very destructive nonetheless. At such times when we look for peace, our minds conjure up the picture of the tsunami interpose with serene picture of Mount Fuji. Then, we wonder whether the waves will subside, in time, before they reach the shore and destroy everything. 

The Hebrew word Shalom for peace connotes a total and comprehensive well-being. It is peace with fullness, completeness; harmony in every way. A serenity which transcends all people and nations. But unfortunately, it is so elusive.

Perhaps the juxtaposing of a peaceful Mount Fuji against turbulent waves is no more than cynical expression of this impossibility. 

Jesus holds out the hope for peace. His birth ushered in this hope and His second coming will establish peace forever (Isaiah 9:6, 7a):

'For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given

and the government will be on His shoulders.

And He will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Might God, 

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the greatness of His government and peace there will be no end.'  

  

There will be everlasting peace, Isaiah 11:6-9:

'The wolf will live with the lamb,

the leopard will lie down with the goat,

the calf and the lion and the yearling together; 

and a little child will lead them.

The cow will feed with the bear,

their young will lie down together,

and the lion will eat straw like the ox.

The infant will play near the hole of the cobra

and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest. 

They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,

for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord

as the waters cover the sea.'

There will be personal peace, John 14:7

'Peace I leave with you,

my peace I give you.

I do not give as the world gives.

Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.'

 

In turn,we are expected to become peacemakers and a blessing was pronounced 'Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God' Matthew 5:9. Start small, first with ourselves, then family, friends and colleagues. Expunge every prejudice. Endeavour to live out the prayer of St Francis, 'Make Me A Channel of Your Peace.' 

Lionel